Be mine

chapter 5

Han's pov
" out of all place you chose this coffee shop...do you like torturing yourself?" Seungmin said sitting next to me...my eyes were fixed on the shop in front of me...the bakery owned by hyunjin's parents." And you already ordered" he added looking at the cup of black coffee.
"I was dying of hangover and it took you forever" I replied glancing between my cousin and the bakery.
"Jisung, seriously you need to stop this" seungmin said, I looked toward him raising my eyebrow.

"Stop what?" I asked tilting my head.
"Torturing yourself...this won't get hyunjin back" he replied. I didn't see hyunjin's parents since the funeral...I didn't want to see anyone.
"Yeah, I should totally forget about hyunjin" i said shaking my head" you know what is better, I should give lee felix a chance...maybe we can make this marriage work and we can build a life together " I added rolling my eyes.
"Jisung, I didn't mean..."
"No no really we should adopt a dog...do you think he likes dogs...and maybe talk about having kids" I said cutting seungmin off.
"Oh, wait...I remembered he doesn't even like me...I am a good business deal" I added making him sighed.
"I get it...you loved hyunjin...you still do...I am not asking you to move on with your life...or fall in love right now...but we were worried about you jisung...for almost a year you shut all of us out...I hate to say it but hyunjin is gone...do you think your jinie would have wanted you to suffer like this?" Seungmin said making me shake my head.

I felt tears building up inside my eyes, I didn't talk about this with anyone...I didn't want to meet the boys because I knew we will get to this point...hyunjin would have been so angry at me if he saw me like this...but I can't help it...I can't just live like I used to...he...he was my everything...and now he is gone.
"I can't help it seungmin...I...each time I close my eyes I see him...I remember his face...his voice his touch hell even his smell....I..." I swallowed the lump inside my throat as tears fell down my cheeks " I miss him so much...i can't believe he is dead...that I won't be able to see him again...I keep wishing that this is just a nightmare...I keep wishing that if I open my eyes I will find him laying next to me" I added as a hiccup left my throat.
Seungmin's expressions softened before he pulled me inside his arms...I didn't even give a damn about people around us before I started to sob.

"Life is not fair...I know...I am sorry that you had to lose him" he said rubbing my back.
"I...I want him back...i want hyunjin back...but I know that would never happen...i don't know what I am going to do seungmin...I am lost...I am tired" I murmured.
"I know buddy...I know" he whispered back " you should take it easy...a step by step...time will heal all believe me" he added.
Suddenly my phone started to ring cutting our conversation I pulled back to check it only to sigh when I saw my mother's ID.
"I am not in the mood for this" I said hanging up.

"Who?" Seungmin asked.
"Your aunt" I answered rolling my eyes...my parents made my life even harder by marrying me to lee felix...my phone suddenly started to ring again and this time it was my dad but I hang up on him too...the freaking audacity.
" you know it is probably about company...a merging phase is not easy...it has been the talk of the office since the moment your marriage was announced a week ago" seungmin said, he works at out company...since they moment we graduated business school he joined our firm.
"It is none of my business..."

"It is...the company is your legacy...even though it is going to be merged with the Lee's you still own 50% of the firm...I love felix...he is my friend...but you are my blood, he broke our trust after he signed that contract...you can't give him the satisfaction of ruling over the two companies too" seungmin said, he is really pissed at felix...I have never seen him like this before....I dried my tears before I took a deep breath.
"I am not close to him, but from what I saw and what you told me...lee felix is the definition of an angel...why did he decide to be a devil for me...like why someone like him agree to this just because it is a good business opportunity " I told seungmin who shook his head.
"I have no idea what is going inside his head...I am angry at him because it didn't accept such behaviour from him jisung...this is not like him" he replied.