The Artist's Despair

Chapter Two - Break

Kenna cursed herself as sleep evaded her. She knew that sneaking down the stairs would be futile; Captain Levi would no doubt send her right back to bed like a small child. Kenna closed her eyes once more.

"One," she whispered to herself. "Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven."

And so the numbers went on and on until Kenna's body finally allowed her to sleep.

Kenna was on top of the wall. The wind was blowing in her hair. She held on tightly to Reiner's arm. Being on the wall with no ODM gear frightened her. She looked up and saw that Reiner's and Bertolt's faces were serious in a way that they had never been before.

"Reiner, my love," Kenna said as she tried to get him to look at her. "What's wrong."

Steam came from Reiner's arm and electricity started to crackle around her. Kenna's eyes widened as she let go of Reiner. She started to slowly back away from him.

"No," Kenna said as she shook her head. "No, no, no!"

"This is the way it has to be," Reiner said.

She saw yellow lightening was crackling across the sky and was pushed back by a huge force of wind. Kenna's back hit the ground and all the air left her body.

Kenna sat up almost instantly. She was in her bed in her home in Shingashina. Everything was destroyed. Kenna got out of the bed and started to make her way down the stairs. She saw her mother, brother, father, and Marco all slumped around the table. Tears came to Kenna's eyes as she looked at all of them. These were the wounds that had killed them all.

"We are sorry about them," Bertolt's voice came from behind her. "But, this had to be done."

"Bullshit," Kenna snapped at them as she whipped around to look at him. Reiner and Bertolt were standing side by side at the entrance into the kitchen. "None of this had to be done."

"You won't understand," Reiner said. "We're warriors. This is the way it had to be."

"What does that even mean?" Kenna asked. It was like she was frozen in place. "Why did you do this?"

"We can't tell you unless you let us take you to our home," Reiner said. He extended his hand. "Come with us."

"Over my dead body," Kenna spit at them.

"So be it," Bertolt said sadly.

The ground started to shake as Reiner and Bertolt turned away from her. They disappeared into the house. The noise got louder and louder. Kenna tried to move, but she couldn't. She wanted to run, to scream, to do anything but freeze. The roof of the house was torn off. Kenna looked up as a giant hand reached down and grabbed her. All Kenna could do was scream as the Titan brought her to its mouth.

Kenna woke up with a start. She was hyperventilating. She was soaked in sweat. She felt her heart beating out of her chest. All of the fear that was in her body; all that was left was anger.

She was angry at Reiner and Bertolt in betraying in her the worst way possible. She was angry at her family, at Marco, for dying and leaving her. She was angry at the Titans. She was angry at whoever was beyond the wall that had such a strong hold on Reiner and Bertolt that they did betray her. She was angry at absolutely everything.

Kenna got out of her bed. She was practically shaking with anger at this point. She looked around the room for anything that she could take that anger out on. Kenna's eyes caught the chair that was in the corner of her room. She picked it up over her head and brought it down. It smashed into tiny pieces. Kenna had one of the legs and started to take it to everything that she could see her the room.

The chest at the foot of her bed.

Pieces of wood splintered off into the air. The sound of wood cracking filled the room.

The nightstand that held her sketchbooks.

She saw the books go flying somewhere to the floor.

The walls.

The plaster used to build the wall turned to dust.

Her bed.

The headboard cracked.

Anything and everything that she could see.

When the leg of the chair gave away, Kenna simply picked up another splintered piece of wood. She could barely even comprehend the whirlwind of destruction that was around her. All she knew was that she wanted something to look how utterly broken she felt.

Suddenly, Kenna felt a pair of arms wrap around her. They lifted her off of the ground. Someone took the wood that she had held in her hands away from her.

"Put me down!" Kenna screeched. She started to squirm and wiggle.

"Stop it!" someone said. It was only after a minute that Kenna was able to register that it was Jean.

"Let me go!" Kenna screeched once more.

She managed to wiggle out of arms of the person who was holding her. Kenna fell to the floor. Kenna was forced to take a breath. For the first time since everything started, she felt hot tears run down her cheeks. Kenna looked up at all of her friends. They looked concerned. No, they looked sad. No, they looked like they pitied her.

Kenna started to sob as she curled into a ball on the floor. Pity was the right word. That is what she was right now; pitiful. Here she was, destroying things so carelessly, when everyone in the room had experienced the same betrayal as her. That was a disservice to her friends; they had all been through the same pain or worse that she had. She had no right to break when they were still standing tall and strong.

Kenna was pulled into a sitting position by someone as she cried. She felt one person, than another, than another wrap their arms around her. Kenna held on tightly to them. They were the only people she had left besides her uncle.

Kenna didn't know how long she was on the floor on before she felt someone pick her up. Kenna looked up and saw that it was Jean. Kenna rested her head on his chest as she continued to cry. Jean carried her out of the room and into another. He sat her on the bed. Kenna saw Mikasa and Sasha ushering him out of the room without another word. Historia sat by her side and gently held her hand. Mikasa and Sasha returned to Kenna's side. Sasha sat behind Kenna and hugged her tightly while Mikasa just rested her head on Kenna's.

"It's okay," Mikasa whispered.

"I just want this anger, this pain, this sadness to be taken from me," Kenna sobbed as she held on tightly to Sasha's arms.

"We know," Sasha said as she rocked Kenna back and forth.

"The boys are cleaning up your room as best as they can," Historia said. "Tomorrow, you're going to move into my room."

"Why did they do it?" Kenna cried. "Why?!"

Her friends didn't have any comforting words for that. All they could do was hold her and let her know that they were there. Kenna didn't know how long that they had been sitting there before they all started to slowly drift off to sleep on the bed. They all managed to curl themselves into tiny balls. Having them there made Kenna feel a little less alone and a little less broken, but Kenna knew that there would be nothing that could fix the parts of her heart and her soul that had been shattered. Kenna had been broken beyond repair and left just a shell of the person she was. Kenna didn't know when she would smile or sing or laugh again. She hated that she didn't know. She hated that Reiner and Bertolt had done that to her. She hated that despite everything they had done to her, her friends, her family, she still hoped that they would find their way back to her.