Neighbours, Friends, Lovers

35. why me and not her?

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ Charles Pov ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀

"Charles!" Andrea calls my name to make me focus on the exercise I'm doing.
"Merda..." I say letting the weight fall on the ground and lay next to it.
"Che hai?" Andre asks concerned since I had my head lost in my thoughts the very moment I walked into the gym.

I sent a good morning to Char early this morning right after I've opened my eyes and now my texts are not even delivering.

What the hell is happening?

"Magari è solo a lezione e non può risponderti?" Andrea suppose after I tell him what's in my mind.
"Dai Andre, you know it she answers quickly no matter where she is." I say rolling my eyes.
"So did you do said ot do something that could have upset her?" Andrea asks.
"Ma no... era tutto perfetto prima di tornare a casa!" I say frustrated taking my hands to my hair.
"E allora parlale." he suggests the most obvious thing that I should do. Talk to her.
"Eh come, se non mi risponde al telefono?!" I ask more frustrated than before.
"Puoi sempre andare a prenderla appena finisce lezione. Valentine sicuramente sa i suoi orari." Andrea suggest the most smart thing to do, go pick her up after her classes.
"Hai ragione..." I say letting out a deep breath.

So I go home get a shower, I change into white jeans and a light blue button long sleeve shirt.

I don't know why but my heart aches when she gets to notice me outside my car.
She shows a soft smile but I can't see the usual excitement to see me.
I can feel that something is wrong and I don't like this sensation that I get in my chest. Is it fear?
Fear of losing her and break the balance that I've found after a really long time in my private life.

What the fuck did I do?

"Hey, what are you doing here?" she asks and her voice tone is far away from excited bug she tries to cover it even if I know her better than myself.
"Hey baby, I think you phone is broken or something." I suppose even if I know really well that she's just ignoring me.
"Oh I just forgot to charge it last night so I've turned off my data." she says fighting her grips on her bag that is wrapped on the shoulder, with a fake smile that seems too damn fake.

I open the door for her.
"I've missed you." I say once we get into my car.
I look at her while I'm putting my seatbelt and I see her ignoring my stare by acting too busy on trying to put hers on.
"We just saw each other few hours ago."she mumbles and then I reach for her seat belt.
My fingers touches hers and she slides her off and looks up to me.
"It's more than few hours now." I simply say looking at her chestnut color eyes.
Before I start the engine, my mind screams at me telling me to do what I feel even if the mood it's not the best, so I grab her face and kiss her, trying to wipe whatever she has in her mind.
Her pouty lips finds mine and it seems to breathe after hours.

I know I'm being a drama queen, but I feel so well with her that I se to be forgotten how it feels to be alone. Single.

"Oh how much I've missed you this morning."
I say still cupping her face with my both hands.
Looking into her eyes I can feel my chest cracking.
It hurts me inside knowing that the lack of light in her eyes is my fault.
She smiles, a really fake smile if you ask me and then after I put my seatbelt on again and she leans overs and hugs my arm.
That little gesture brings peace to my senses.
So it's real that saying "happy girlfriend, happy life" because it really is. Even if I know that it's not totally fixed.

For the entire drive she stays quiet and there's definitely something wrong.

"Baby cmon we both know that you're lying." I finally let out after the waiter put out on the table.
She looks at me and she blinks twice with her long lashes covered by her favorite mascara, like she trying to think of what he has to say.
"Please tell me what wrong. It works like this no? Communication?" I ask reaching for her hand and once I'm cupping her both hands in mine I play with her rings.
"Charles please it's nothing." she says almost in a whisper but by the sound of her voice I can hear that the knot of disappointment is tightening her throat.
"If you're ignoring me it's not nothing." I say kinda harsh.
"What happened? Did I do something?" I ask softening my voice looking into her eyes that gets shiner than they were 5 minutes ago.
"Then did I said something?" I ask supposing but she shakes her head.
"So what? Did you expect me to do something or say something?" I say and her eyes breaks the eye contact.
"Bingo." she mumbles and my eyes go wide and my mind starts calculating.