some dude writing gnarpy dying in horrible ways [REGRETEVATOR]

1 - Death by Second-hand UFO

Ah, that invasion xe planned. Gnarpy was waiting for it. After all, xe was the one that ordered the camp to be invaded. Hopping into the UFO docks, xe broadcasted the signal that'd start the invasion. Gnarpy was cackling, and everyone knew it. One of the important civillians on board the mothership scoffed as the invasion was called. Sure, nobody saw them, but there was certainly a reaction from the more propaganda-driven gnarpians.

Slowly descending into the atmosphere, xe directed xeir underlings to raze the place from the sky. Death rays left scenery unchanged, yet players? Not so. There's a big difference between being able to run and having no pulse.

Gnarpy was estatically directing orders to hunt the remaining earthlings, when some kind of.. warning was flashing on his heads-up display. Faulty engines. Goddamnit. Xe huffed, trying to ignore it - which ended, well, badly. His UFO spluttered, before dropping lifeless.

The arrogant co-leader screamed, clutching to the sides of xeir chair. Sure, the UFO was faulty (it was a hand-me-down, the seatbelt didn't even work) but a gnarpian invention never fell out of the sky!

Right?

...

A few minuites later, a automated distress signal was sent out. Sure, a few soldiers came to the scene, but Gnarpy was, well, dead. Xeir skull pierced by reinforced gnarpa-glass, body crushed limp underneath metal reinforcings. Glowy yellow gnarpian blood stained their suit. A faint red light pulsed monotonously. Life support went out too.

"Mazter?" One of the soldiers shuddered, unsure on if to shake xem awake or run off.

"Xey're dead."

"...Dead?"

"Well, who elze would survive gnarpa-glazz to ze FACE??"

The first soldier sighed, shaking their head sadly, before pulling up a small device of sorts.

"Co-leader Gnarpy'z.. dead.."