And Just Like That (La Fille Diaries #1)

Prologue

Prologue

I always wonder how life works for other people. Do they live their lives the way they want it to be? Or are there people like me who live in a world where one is left with no option; that is to work in order to continue surviving in this world.

Though I am still in college, working while studying is what I do for the past years. Entering high school with no support coming from my father has me begging my aunt for support on my monthly allowance, since none of the jobs I applied for accepts minor children as an employee. 

I faced all of that at the ripe age of eleven, which is primary the reason why I grew up to be independent. My friends often tease me about not having a boyfriend at this age due to my standard in men. After all, I have all the rights to have high standard for men after what I’ve been through with my father.

Siguro nga, I am craving to meet a perfect guy in hopes to avoid heartache, just like how my father broke my heart a decade ago. Pero ngayong matanda na ‘ko, I lose all the hope in finding the perfect guy since being perfect doesn’t seem to exist in this world.

Or if ever it does, I don’t think I can ever find one.

“You’re spacing out in the middle of work?” Rhea asked and gently shook my shoulder, bringing me back to the reality.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. Mukhang napahaba tuloy ang break time ko.” Ani ko at bahagyang tumawa.

“Ano ka ba! Deserve mo naman ng pahinga!” Aniya at hinampas ako sa balikat. 

Hinimas ko ang balikat ko noong naramdaman ko na medyo humapdi ito dahil sa ginawa ni Rhea. Kaagad niyang napansin ang naging reaksyon ko kung kaya’t kaagad siyang humingi ng paumanhin. 

We still have five minutes left before we return to work, and our attention shifts to a group of college girls who are giggling with each other. They look like they are around our age, which made Rhea and I interested.

“They don’t look like they have problems at all. I guess it’s a luxury to live in a household with no financial issues, no?” I asked Rhea all of a sudden. 

Hindi ko napigilan ang paglabas ng mga salitang iyon sa bibig ko. I know that everyone has their own problems, be it a struggling individual or a wealthy individual. I guess problems have become a vital part of the human life… but I can’t help thinking that I got it worse than the others. Or maybe fate is really that cruel when it comes to me. 

“Lahat naman mayroon, e. Siguro, mas madali para sa kanila ang buhay sa ngayon. Balang araw, giginhawa rin ang buhay natin.” Sambit ni Rhea at sumandal sa pader habang nakakrus ang kaniyang braso. 

“Baka nga nauna lang talaga ang paghihirap natin… at sana, maging maganda nga ang buhay natin sa hinaharap.” Sagot ko at tumayo na.

Sinesenyasan na kasi ako ng kapalitan ko na pumunta na roon sa counter upang siya naman ang palitan ko. Thirty minute break surely is like a lightning. It felt like I only had a break for five minutes!

Muli akong napasulyap sa grupo ng mga babae. They look famous by the way they dress and speak. Those girls are probably enjoying the spotlight they have… while I, on the other hand, loves to stay away from the spotlight and live my life as an invisible individual.

“You know what, I can’t imagine living in the spotlight.” I told Rhea which caused her to look at me.

“Almost everyone dreamt of living under the spotlight. How come?” She asked, eager to hear my answer. 

“I just feel like living away from it is more peaceful than having to endure the limelight by being perfect.” 

“I do get where you are coming from… but never in your life did you imagine what it feels like to live that way? Because I did when I was younger!” Rhea said in an excited tone, probably reminscing her imaginations of living the life of a celebrity when she was a young girl.

However, her question struck a hint of realization. I once did imagine of living my life that way when I was still a young girl. But it’s because of one thing: the thought of living in the spotlight seems fun to my younger self, when in fact, it is not. 

Growing up and maturing made me realize that you don’t have to be in the limelight to enjoy life. Sometimes, people find being invisible to the eyes of the others fun and relaxing without having to worry about what others might say or think about you. 

“Do you consider dating someone famous? For example, Keanu Javier from Theater Arts! That guy is good looking and talented!” Rhea questioned. 

“I guess it depends… but as I said, I’ve been living my life as an invisible individual. I doubt someone like Keanu will ever notice and look at my direction.” I answered her question.

“Pero ‘wag kang magsalita ng tapos! Life is unexpected, kaya expect the unexpected!” Pang-iinis niya pa at kiniliti ako sa tagiliran.

“Sus! Parang imposible rin naman ‘yang sinasabi mo. I’m out of their radar.” Sagot ko sa pang-iinis niya.

For real though, someone like me are out of their radar. Siguro, ‘yung mga babae na nakaupo roon sa isang table malapit sa bintana ang sakop ng atensyon ng mga lalaking katulad ni Keanu Javier. Pero ang isang katulad ko? Imposible siguro iyon.

“Malay mo naman! Kung hindi man si Keanu, baka ‘yung captain ball ng basketball team!” Rhea suggested which I answered with a frown.

“Gio and Rhea, tapos na ang break ninyo! Get back to work!” Sigaw ng manager na siyang nagpakilos sa amin ni Rhea na bumalik na sa mga trabaho namin.

Rhea winked at me and she is still holding to that question! Even though being with someone like Keanu Javier or the famous captain ball of the basketball team seems ideal for many, I still think that it is impossible to happen. We gotta learn how to separate our imagination from the reality!

Now that I am thinking about Rhea’s question earlier, will I ever find a guy that is contrasting with my standards to a man? Sabi ng iba, madalas tayong nagkakagusto sa mga taong kasalungat ng inaasahan natin. Ganoon din kaya sa akin?

Still, I am all alone and I could protect my inner peace by staying invisible from the eyes of other people… just like the way I like it to be. But if ever that peace I am clinging to comes to an end because of someone, I hope that it will be worth the risk.

I have to find someone that is worth the risk. 

Will I ever find one? I hope, too… but not too soon since I am not ready for it as of the moment.

But then, I thought of all the possibilities if I ever fall in love. If I see them as worth the risk, will he feel the same about me?

I hope to find someone who’ll think I am worth risking for.