And Just Like That (La Fille Diaries #1)

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I stayed true to my words when I told Rory that I will go to the bar with her and Gav tonight. It’s Friday and maybe this is a sign to loosen the hold I have in myself. I will enjoy tonight as I forget all my responsibilities as a student and employee.

“I swear, you won’t regret this! It’s been ages since you went out with Gav and I.” She said as she fixes my hair. 

“I know right. It’s either I stay here in our apartment to sleep and study or work even during my day off for extra pay.” I know it sounds boring but that’s definitely my personality.

Others might think that sleeping and studying at a Friday night is boring, but to me it’s sort of like meditation. I find it relaxing to stay at the apartment during Friday nights and weekend while Rory is out, partying and going out with her other friends.

I swear, Rory and I are the total opposite of each other. She likes to party and hang out with her other friends, while I on the other hand loves to stay indoors. In short, Rory is so outgoing I think she might win the award of ‘Miss Congeniality’ if she ever joins a beauty pageant! 

I wish I was that outgoing but I don’t have the energy to converse with a lot of people since I am forced to put an all-smile attitude at my job. It’s really tiring to act happy when in fact, you’re not. 

“You can also find a guy who you can hook up with tonight!” I scrunched my nose in disgust when I hear her say that. 

“God, I’m not a fan of one night stand. I prefer to be intimate, you know?” I told her. 

“Oh, right. And you have such high standards that I am afraid you won’t ever find one!” I’m not in the position to be offended. What she said is true though.

I don’t blame my high standards for my no-boyfriend situation right now. I am just extra careful of picking a boyfriend, knowing that I spent most of my life with a drunk guy who happens to be my father. 

I hate to view it this way but my father is the reason why I am cautious of letting a man enter my life. I am afraid that my future boyfriend will treat me like I’m an unworthy piece of garbage that is not worth living for.

God, my thoughts about my father is like a poison that keeps on poisoning my damn mind. I don’t know how others view it but an old friend of mine once told me that I have daddy issues. I don’t want to think of it that way but somehow, what she said might be true and I find it hard to swallow like it’s some sort of a forbidden pill. 

Maybe my old friend, Yna, is right. My father is the reason why I am afraid of intimacy and going into the depths of a relationship. Sure I did have a three month relationship with a guy before, but I forced myself to run away to save myself from experiencing difficult feelings. 

“Hindi ka ba talaga interesado na magkaroon kahit na fling lang? You know, flings are not a serious thing,” Rory offered as I grab the black leader jacket from my clothes rack.

“Doing flings is such a waste of time. I work four days a week and I study my ass off. Even if it’s short term, I don’t have time for it.” I was quick enough to reject her idea. 

Maybe flings can direct my mind from the negativity that’s clouding it but given the amount of time I have, looks like it won’t work. Though flings are not a serious thing at all, it still requires an ample amount of time. Or maybe I’m saying that I don’t need one because I haven’t found a guy that I am really interested in?