Remedy

2. Collide

Seyiso

"I've been trying to call you for two weeks now. Why didn't you answer my call?" Loyiso asked. I could hear the rage in his voice. "I was busy," I said. "Too busy to care about your own dad? He's sick, Seyiso. The least you can do is act like you care," he said. "I was never a good actor. That's why I avoided the drama club in high school."

I heard him sigh in frustration. "Is that Seyiso on the phone?" I heard his mother ask. "If you tell her you're talking to me I'll block your number and you'll never hear from me again," I threatened. "Maybe she'll talk some sense into you," he said before handing her the phone.

"Seyiso, my boy," she said. I wasn't her boy. I was never her boy and she knew that. "Sis' Nolitha," I said. "You're not calling me Mama anymore?" I did it because my aunt said it showed good manners. I was beyond good manners at that point. I didn't care what Nolitha and her husband thought of me.

"What can I do for you?" I asked. "Come home. See your father. He's been asking for you and we couldn't get a hold of you for so long. You haven't been home in three years. Come home. We miss you," she said. I wondered if my father's manipulative nature had rubbed off of her that she was able to let the lies slip from her lips so easily.

"I'm busy. I can't come home. Bid him my condolences," I replied. "Don't talk like he's dead." "I know you want him to be," I said. "How could you say that? What happened to you? You used to be so sweet. Ever since you quit rugby you turned sour on all of us. I know we haven't always been a family but your father has always been there. If not for us then do it for him. See him. Even if you come by for a few hours," she said. What made her believe I could last a minute in his presence?

"I can't do that. The semester just started and I need to get to work." "Come by on a weekend then. Surely you can catch up," she begged. She sounded so sincere. As if she were helpless and I could aid her out of her misery if I gave in to her plea.

"I can't. It's a demanding course. Plus I have other commitments," I said. "What other commitments? Are they more important than your father? God forbid but he could die without seeing you, Seyiso. Is that what you want? A father departing without seeing his son for the last time? I'm sure there are some questions you still have for him. This isn't just for him. It's for you too."

I thought about it for a second but she couldn't fool me. Any questions of mine answered by that man would lead to a life of constant pondering and irritation. He'd lie like he always did. He'd manipulate me on his deathbed. I wasn't going to live the rest of my life with more memories of his cutting words. I would rather look like a bad son.

"I think it's best if I stay away. Give you time to get closure as a family. I can't promise if I'll be there for the funeral but I'll leave a stone on his grave when I can," I answered. It sounded cold. I was foreshadowing a tragic fate that everyone was trying to keep out of their minds. It was the only way they'd leave me alone.

I heard her gasp. "You're worse than I thought. I can't believe you'd let that man suffer like this after everything he's done for you," she said. "I'm glad we agree on something. I need to go."

I dropped the call. I could try as hard as I could to find melancholy in my father's sickness but the only thing I'd find is relief. I was relieved that I'd live in a world where I didn't have to see him anymore.

Most if not all people found it heartless that I treated my father like a deadly plague. To have a heart meant to fight every waking second of my life to protect it. And the best way I could protect mine was to avoid my father until he met his grave. Even then, I would remain scarce.

He'd caused so much pain in my own life that I couldn't take anymore. As soon as I was eighteen and inherited my mother's properties and money, I moved out of the house. I moved to one of her properties in Chorale City. Luckily it was near campus. My aunt managed most of her properties until I was ready to take care of things.