Remedy

4. Broken Remedies

Seyiso

"You're very clingy today," I said to Onesitha as we stepped into my house. She had declined my offer to drive her back to her apartment and insisted on coming over to my place. I wouldn't have minded but I wasn't in the mood for company. But I knew Onesitha. She would ask me questions if I indicated I wasn't up for hanging out with her.

"I'm not clingy. You're just cold," she said. "I'm pretty sure you're the problem. It all started when you saw me talking to Raiah," I said, walking to my kitchen to grab an apple from the fridge.

I had wanted to talk to her longer. She was interesting and... bright. I couldn't describe it  nicely but she radiated light and life.

"Who's Raiah?" she asked, snatching the apple away and taking a bite. "The girl I was talking to before you snatched your iced coffee from her and chased her away." "That first year? I thought I was saving you. She looked so... interested in you. Lack of better words," she remarked, offering me the apple back.

I shook my head at her offer. She always took my food. It was irritating."Really?" I asked. I wanted her to be interested in me. Just a little.

"Do you want her to be interested in you?" Onesitha asked. I stepped closer to her. "I think you're interested in me. That's why you were possessive earlier today," I suggested.

I wasn't blind. I knew when a girl liked me. It wasn't arrogance it was just awareness. Onesitha and I dated when she was in first year and she had a pattern of liking me every once in a while before snapping out of it.

She took a step closer as well. "Possessive? I don't think it's possible for anything much less anyone to possess you. But I am interested. Why? Does it bother you?" she retorted. I stepped back. "You'll get over it. You always do," I said.

She grabbed my arm. "What if I don't? What if I just hide my feelings beneath the surface until they burst out every once in a while?" She was playing with me. I could see the mischief dancing in her eyes. "Don't you have a boyfriend?" I asked. She knew I hated cheating. Even if she was playing, I wouldn't entertain this game of hers when her loyalty was owed to another man.

She sighed before letting go of my arm. "I think I dumped him," she said before throwing herself on my couch. "You think?" "He said he loved me, Seyiso." I knew how much she ran away from love. She just wanted fun and games.

Love scared her as much as it scared me. That's why it was easy for us to date and be friends even after we broke up. We understood the part of ourselves that the rest of the world wanted to change.

I sat on the other end of the couch near her feet. "Did you tell him about your love phobia?" I asked. "Yep. He knows. But he thinks he can love me out of it. Ha!" I knew she was hurt. As much as she didn't want to love her boyfriend, she hated hurting him. That's why she was trying to distract herself with me.

"Why didn't you ever say you love me?" she asked. She knew the answer. "Because I didn't. Not in a romantic sense. I care about you. I would be bothered if something bad happened to you," I replied. She lifted her head to look at me. "You'd be bothered? Just what a girl wants to hear. You're not romantic at all," she said.

"You aren't either," I retorted. "We're broken. We can't be romantic, even if we tried. But you, I think you feign romance pretty well." "What do you mean?" I asked. "You sing old love songs in that Elvis Presley mixed with John Legend voice and the girls start thinking all of their fantasies can come true.

"Your eyes make people think you're gazing at them with affection but really it's just the light shade that gets them. I've seen it. You look at everyone the same way, like you'd die for them.