I Still Love You

7.

Jisoo POV

"I moved away because of you hyung."

Those words kept on repeating on loop in my head. I was feeling many emotions at once. I was shocked, I was angry and above all I was confused, why would he say something like that. I never once told him to go away, in fact I never wanted him to go, I was devastated by his departure. So after his sudden confession, I am left with so many questions and I don't know if I am ready to hear the answers to them. All kind of what ifs started coming to my mind like what if I did something which hurt him to the point that going away from him was the only option left. I just stared at him with bewilderment, I just don't know what to say. But still I needed answers from him, I can't just jump to conclusions. So finally I took a deep breath and asked the question which can end the unwanted thoughts swirling in my head, "What do you mean by that Dokyeom-ah? I never wanted you to leave." He just looked at me with a blank expression and there was far stretched silence till he decided to break it. "I can't give an answer to your question for now and I know you never wanted me to leave, it was me who took that stupid decision and now I regret it. But remember hyung there was something going on which made me leave and it was definitely related to you. Unknowingly you made me leave and I know it is cruel of me to leave you in the dark after revealing all this but I want you to find out the reason on your own because as long as I remember I gave you enough hints before losing to fate." he answered without any emotion on his face. His face was blank and I just stared at him for god knows how long.

I was unable to understand him, all this was just too much for me. He went away because of me and above that he left some hints for me to understand what was bothering me but I didn't understand those. All the things were just messing up with my head. "I don't know what hints you're talking about, so just please tell me what all this is about. If really I'm the reason then I will apologize but you have to tell me." I said with a hint of desperation laced in my voice. I just can't accept the fact that I was unable to understand the only person I thought of as my family after my parents. He just shook his head and there was sadness in his eyes when looked at me, "Hyung, I will be going now and please don't blame yourself, I told you it was not you, it was me who wanted to leave. I was a coward and I still am. It was not your fault, it never was." he spoke with so much sincerity that I almost believed him but those words he said earlier just couldn't leave my mind, I know there is something which he doesn't want to tell me and I would not force him to do that. So I just looked at him and nodded my head. He went away after giving me a small smile and I just sat there like a statue because honestly I was clueless.

Dokyeom POV

I didn't know what got into me when I spit out those words, I just felt so vulnerable after seeing him that I just wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how was him being with another person affected me and eventually led me to leave the country. But I was thankful that I got to senses as soon as those words left my mouth. I know that I can't take those words back so I told him something which could end this conversation and I hoped that Jisoo Hyung would not take this topic any further. I sat there in my car aimlessly with so much going into my head. After coming back, everything was hitting me back at full speed. So many feelings and so many heart aches which I wanted to forget were coming back and I just didn't know what to do anymore. The way things went today, I know it won't take for my feelings to take over me and as a result I will reveal something that will change everything. Just the thought of seeing hatred and disgust in those pretty doe eyes of his hyung scares me to the core. I can't let him know anything, it would be a disaster. I should just avoid him as long as I am in Korea and then I will leave for good. I nodded to myself at my thoughts and I was determined to follow that. With the newfound determination I drove away from the apartment and also from the person who I hold dear to me.

Third POV

Just like that two hearts were left with pain and longing. On one hand Jisoo was in pain thinking he might be the reason for the hardship of his dear friend and on the other hand Dokyeom was in pain of leaving his hyung once again. Life is tough and when it comes to love it seems to get more tougher. For Dokyeom love was never on his side and for Jisoo love was never fair to him. Both went through so much that they hated the idea of love to the core. One was hopelessly in love with someone whom he know he can't have and one went through so much torture and pain which was directed by the one he once loved.

Dokyeom was never afraid to love, heck he still loves his hyung with all his heart but he is rather afraid of the outcome and Jisoo is simply afraid of it, love didn't do anything good to him, it only brought bad memories and a lifetime of trauma. They both fought and are still fighting their battles alone in hope that one day everything will become normal like before where Dokyeom didn't have any feelings for his hyung and where Jisoo never had met that bastard who ruined his life. They both were waiting for something and ironically one knew about this wait and the other was clueless.

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Today suddenly while writing this chapter I thought of a story plot and now I would be following that.
Stay tuned and Thank you for reading