It's not like I had any problem with me being gay. In fact, I loved that within today's society, I could be with who I truly desired without fear of being caught.
It's the coming out part I struggled with. Brandished all over social media were various rainbow inspired coming out parties, with elaborate speeches and decoration. That just wasn't me. But then again, it's not something I could exactly just blurt out, it was much more complex.
Throughout my life, I had learnt to accept my identity. At first, it felt like the world had crashed down on me. The perfect dreams you have as a little girl from seeing all those romance movies, you'd meet some random guy in a coffee shop on a rainy day, you'll fall in love, marry, have children, happily ever after. Figuring out this isn't possible for you, was the hardest thing to overcome. Night after night, I would cry, trying to work out, why I couldn't be normal, why did I get so tingly whenever my best friend would hug me and why couldn't I just take some prescribed pill to make me straight. It consumed me alive, eating into my thoughts and damaging my education, most of my school days spent dreaming about a time I could just be free.
Then, I realized how great being gay could be. I sought refuge in Youtube videos, with people explaining the exact feelings I resonated with, making me accept that there is light at the end of the tunnel. In addition, I watched many shows, one of significance being Heartstopper, I really identified with Nick and his own personal struggle. Upon seeing how happy he was with Charlie, it brought me a sense of comfort. You didn't have to be straight to find joy, you just had to be yourself to get that satisfying feeling.
I still hadn't told Brendon and Chris. Even though I assumed it was pretty obvious. It's not like they wouldn't accept me, they are far from homophobic, I mean Chris has a gay best friend, for goodness sake. But then again, he was a man.
I sometimes think being a gay man is easier than being a lesbian. Even saying the word gay is easier than admitting you're a lesbian. Most straight girls fantasize about having a gay boy best friend, someone to stereotypically talk about boys with and have sleepovers. Nobody wants a lesbian friend. If I tried to befriend boys, I would be met with various slurs. It was a very isolating experience, even Brendon had been a victim of making a few homophobic jokes in front of his rugby mates to show off. I would just laugh it off, disguising the fact it was breaking my heart slowly, piece by piece.
Then, especially by being inducted into women's football, I met other lesbians, just like me.
One of which being Katie. She was the first and only person I had come out too. We banter and tease often, but she's the person I trust with my whole heart. She hadn't even told her own girlfriend, Caitlin.
Anyway, back to the present.
"Keep your voice down." I hush at Katie, becoming self aware.
Glancing around, she obeyed my instruction and turned back, adorned with a smirk, "So what you going to do about Kyra?"
I sighed and bit my lip, trying to make sense of my jumble of emotions, "Honestly...I don't know."
"Well, you better figure it out soon." Katie patted my shoulder reassuringly, "Trust me, you don't want to let this one go."
I mumbled a word of thanks and watched as she waded back to her group. What the fuck was I going to do?
Later, I got back into my sweats and left the empty locker room. I was always last to arrive and last to leave. I just didn't like to rush around. My head was still so scrambled that I almost walked straight into the women in front of me.
"Hey, slow down." An Australian voice smirked. Kyra was stood in the lobby, swinging her car keys around, "Any chance you've forgotten to text Chris to pick you up?"
My eyes widened at the thought and rummaged through my jogger pockets to find my phone, "Shit, thanks for reminding me."
"Wait." Kyra, grabbed my arm, firm but not too hard, "We can..like... do you want to come to my apartment?"
I blushed ferociously as I considered her offer. We did have a rest day tomorrow, and I could just text Chris that I was staying over at Katie's or something. So trying not to sound desperate, I responded,
"Yeah, sure."
"Home sweet home." Kyra smirked, as she switched on her hallway lights, exposing a modern interior with splashes of yellow and green, a tribute to her home country.
"Woah, it's so cool." I exclaimed, admiring a few pieces of abstract art hanging on the cream walls, "I didn't know you were into art."
Kyra sniggered as she took my coat off me and hung it on a hook, "Trust me, I'm not, they're my Aunts and I have to put them up in case she decides on a surprise visit."
I giggled as well, "I think they're really good though."
I followed Kyra into a large open plan living room and kitchen, overlooking the bustling city with two giant windows.
As I captivated on the incredible view, Kyra called out from the kitchen, "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"
Her voice was enough to distract me and I turned, speaking politely, "No thank you I'm good."
She nodded, running the tap for a glass of water for herself, "Make yourself at home."
I took this quite literally and plunged onto the soft black leather sofas I had my eye on from when we entered, resting my legs. Kyra laughed, placing her glass on the coffee table and sitting beside me, not too close, and not too far.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" She asked, grappling the remote for the large TV mounted on the wall.
I shrug, trying to act unbothered, on which Kyra noticed. Of course she noticed, she notices everything about me, "I need words."
I gulped, attempting to tease her further and turned my head away from her, concealing a smirk but staying silent.
"Evie." She mutters, a frustrated tone in her voice.
I guess she has no patience because the next thing I know, she's positioned on top of me, pinning me down of the sofa, and violently attacking me with tickles.
"Surrender." she speaks out, unable to hide her amusement at my true laugh, echoing around the entire apartment. It was cute, how much she was enjoying this.
Trying to last a few more minutes, I attempted to wriggle, unsuccessfully from her grip, and strong biceps, "Fine, yes, I want to." I give in.
Victorious, Kyra pushed herself off me, pinging through a few new movies on Netflix.
"You're so mean." I blurt out, watching her concentrated expression.
She shrugs casually, repeating my action from earlier purposefully, "You deserved it."
Finally, we chose a rogue indie movie, but with rave reviews and Kyra switched off the lights for better ambiance, definitely setting not just the mood for the film, but the mood for some action between us tonight.
About half and hour in, Kyra made me jump out of my skin when her voice hummed out, "Evie get up."
Confused, I did as she asked before Kyra grabbed me by the waist, pulling me between her legs, so the back of my head was resting against her chest. I gasped softly at this sudden movement, to which encouraged Kyra further, to begin caressing my thigh. We stayed like this the rest of the movie. The rhythmic beat of Kyra's thudding heart, a lullaby to my slumber.
YOU ARE READING
Interlinked- Kyra Cooney-Cross
RomanceEvie Townley was a young English prodigy. There was just one thing holding her back. Her temper. It seems like nobody will ever be able to control this fierce side of her until a certain Australian joins the team. Will this new found comfort evolve...