I've been seeing a woman in my dreams.

8: The Final Torment.

It had been only two months since I had been back in the United States. Since returning, I had only spoken to Kaeda a few times, and we spent hours on the phone. Still, in our youth, we expressed painful feelings of being separated and made elaborate plans to see each other again. We chatted about visiting and seeing each other in person. This alone could be made into a music video with how much we longed for each other. I hope never to feel this lonely again.

Despite this, I still had to get a job and find a place of my own again. I had no desire to get a roommate or share a space with anyone. I also didn't want a job that didn't involve the experiences I had spent my entire venture in Japan for. Truthfully, I was aiming high and felt I had the right to now.

However, the stress that came with this was great. If I wasn't talking to Kaeda, I was talking to Holly.

I had a cousin who lived in Montana. She resembled her dad, who looked like my dad (go figure...). It was her father who offered me the position overseas.

Whenever she'd visit, my friends remarked Holly was "hot," but as someone who wasn't just related to Holly but also spent ample time with her, I saw her as a sister I didn't see often enough.

I had expressed some of my horrors to her but was nowhere involved as Kaeda or either of my parents. Some of these familiar haunts that tormented me in Japan were starting to inflict themselves on my mom and dad; already, they were somewhat superstitious. Every moment inside my house, I felt like I was plaguing my parents.

Holly suggested flying me to Montana so I could relieve some of the weight on my shoulders.

It was mid-June, and just to get out of my parents' hair, I gladly took her offer. This wouldn't be the first time I would fly to Montana (Billings, in this case) to see her and my other relatives. As she typically did, she offered me a spot at my uncle's, but I chose to stay with her directly. I lost count of how many children my uncle had, either offspring or adopted, so the idea of bringing a horde of demons to them terrified me. She was surprised and reluctant to house me in her single-room apartment, but she accepted a spot at her place after some decision. I had a surprising amount of resistance from my parents, who didn't want me to be spending any money on pleasure. However, the more we spoke about it, the more convincing I became. 

A few days before my flight to Montana, I considered taking the mask and cursing some patch of land so that whatever satanic nonsense was happening to me would stop. I even started to wrap it up for departure when I remembered Kaeda giving it to me. "This is for you!" she announced happily. I couldn't get rid of it.

I couldn't.

I couldn't.

I couldn't.

There was so much conflict inside me that I felt like choking. This thing's influence went further than demons, spirits, or whatever else—it was a reminder of the first step I had ever taken with Kaeda, and the idea of throwing away this visual reminder wasn't fathomable. I put the mask back down, telling myself that getting away from it before didn't do anything anyway, so why try again? 

[Flying into Billings, Montana. I will never get tired of seeing the sky above the clouds like this.]