SHE MADE ME LEAVE THE COUNTRY.

THE INITIAL BREAKUP

I got into the train the very next day and then it was damn hot so yeah I tried sleeping it off  in between I used to get texts from her asking where I was but I really had no idea cause I ain't used to travelling in train so much much so I had no idea and then I send her the pnr num and she tracked the train ......we talked so much I told her the stories of how I crashed 2 cars in a week , so talented I am right ? Now to mention one being into an electric pole 🤷‍♀️ and the 1 st think I did after crashing instead of getting out from the car was jump to the back of the car to find my tracks as I was in shorts and you know how judgy people can be so yeah . I was enjoying every minute talking to her ....it made me feel like so understood me so much and she cared so much for me . I wanted her to be someone who I wanted to have for the rest of my life without loosing her .

While on the way back to my place in the train at the evening it was so good a weather enjoying my favourite hobby daydreaming as I enjoy the nature I was giving life some thought some really good thought . I was reviewing how my life was going I mean I should really mention how Nith tried to break up with me 5 times but me being the one always begging him to stay I mean if someone really loved you would they ever put you in a position to loose you ? I was also not comfortable in many other things which I never mentioned to him in the fear of loosing him and even if I just say no he would manipulate me to go ahead with it. So I had finally decided to not go ahead with the things that are not ok for me .
I reached home around 9.30 at night yet I decided to go to college today why ? I mean to everyone I convinced it was because I wanna part in the inter department football competition but was it the real reason? Obviously no ! I wanted to give her the gift I brought and to give her the chocolate . To be honest the most exciting part for me was to meet her and of course I was excited for football as well I mean why not ( I definitely ain't lying I was excited for football) . That day after seeing her in the morning and giving her the gift I had to enter the boring lectures at class which I had no interest in 🙃. During the break I went to meet Nidhin as he wanted to meet me since I was gonna for quite sometime and as always I made some lame excuse during break and jumped out of class and went to meet him out ( ps: Except 2 ppl no ones else in class knew I was dating him/anyone ) . That meeting did not end good as he tried to hug me I pushed him away cause I really wasn't comfortable and he got mad over it and just walked away from the cafe , not to mention he did not even bother asking me if I had the money to pay which I actually had due to just luck . I mean it's not like I am broke or anything but I am a spendthrift and don't even bother asking me how much I spend just for shopping at Mumbai so yeah . As he walked away even I did not bother calling him back as he did it when as a reaction to when I mentioned I was not comfortable with something. I really never felt bad about it you tell me how long will I keep agreeing to things I ain't comfortable at just cause of the fear of loosing someone.  I was just so done .
Then when I took my phone I saw a message from Resh asking me where did you jump out at lunch break as she has asked by friend about it and even though she knew where I exactly was she did not tell her cause she knows I haven't told anyone I am dating her I mean it was very private just 4 or 5 people knew about it that how private my dating life was . Just one random question have you ever met someone talked to them just few times but you feel like they understand you and relate to you more than the people you have known for years ? Yeah ? I have no clue if you do but Resh was that person for me so I couldn't even lie to her when she asked me where I was and I told her where I was  and with whom 💀. I was so busy with football and everything that day I did not get time to think about anything and even after the match wherein I by mistake scored a goal you may take that as a skill but only the audience know 🤷‍♀️ I was so tired all I could was think of sleep as I haven't got even enough rest the previous day not to mention on top of all this I had fever and yet I showed up for all these .
That night Nith again mentioned to me let's end this here I saw it but I was too tired to even argue so I just slept not to mentioned this was what the 5 th or 6 th time hr was asking me for a breakup . After waking up the very next day too I was feeling something but at the same time I was feeling nothing . I mean I wasn't sad but I was not feeling happy , I wasn't even feeling to eat anything that really isn't me . He did not text me the entire day and that's when I realised damn what have i done and I told Resh about it I wasn't able to sleep that night . At night I felt like I was not able to breath I was crying so much trying so hard not to make noise because I am someone who doesn't like anyone seeing the weak side of me . I cried that entire night and did not sleep but lucky since I was having fever the previous day my parents and everyone around me thought it was because I was sick I looked like that and then my dad said don't drive to college today , instead he asked my driver to drop me . I am glad he took that step I mean I really wouldn't want to crash another car 💀.
GUESS WHO I JUMPED INTO THE 1 ST THINK IN THE MORNING?!?!?!
OFC RESH , but she was the only one who understood that I had cried just by looking at me . She was on the way to sign the register and I was on the way to class she looked at me and went and even I walked to class . While I was at class trying to distract myself by watching reels look who showed up in front of my class to check onto me . Resh was there she called me comforted me so much and to be really honest I felt really relived after talking to her it does everytime I think she was the only person who could actually talk some sense into me cause I was someone who never have a fuck about what anyone says and had thinks done my way but her influence in me was very different. Even thought not agreeing to I used to listen to everything she says like everything . She comforted me  trying to talk some reality into me how thinks had no or very little chance of working out between me and Nith as she has reviews Nith's Instagram from that's screenshots of the chat I send . I was feeling okay so much okay and again the wave of sadness started to hit me and I called Nith's father telling I wasted to meet Nith and Nith showed up and we talked and guess what we got back but for how long ? It was my friend Amu who dropped me to a place wherein I could get an auto even though she mentioned she will drop me I couldn't agree to it as she had no idea I was dating someone . Also I have to mention Amu was someone who was always there for everyone in everything she was always there to help everyone she never had the habit of saying no when someone asks for help that was something I loved a lot about her and at the same time hated it because she always puts others before her which as her friends always made me mad cause she really need to put herself 1 st .

This was the day I started feeling something special for Resh but it was just the beginning and sometimes I wish it all never happened but also I sometimes wonder if it all never happened I would have never met this amazing person who taught me to always be kind and forgiving but guess who in the end turns out quite the opposite 🤷‍♀️ .  You might be wondering how ? Can someone change so much ? Is it actually happening. I mean I have quite wondered that myself so maybe I will continue the rest soon ?