Taylor Swift imagines gxg

SKINNY

Based on Billie Eilish's song 'SKINNY'.

TW: EATING DISORDER, NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE
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You and Taylor have been dating for a short while, and she has been away for tour for a few months. Today, she is returning home. You should feel excited, but when you wake today, you just feel sad.

Before becoming lovers, you two have been friends for a few years, though the attraction was undeniable. Ever since you started dating, Taylor hasn't ever introduced you as her girlfriend, only as her friend or best friend.

On one hand, you understand her fear of being judged by the media, but on the other, it's been taking a huge toll on you, resulting in feeling insecure and unworthy.

When you stumble into the bathroom, you look at yourself in the mirror, nearly bursting into tears at the sight of yourself. You see your messy hair piled ontop of your head, greasy and unbrushed. Your gaze slides down to your face, which is visibly thinner and bonier, which makes you tear up even more.

You touch your once prominent cheekbones, and stare at yourself, huge bags under your eyes. Your gaze moves down to your torso, where you lift your shirt to see your flat stomach and ribs visible. You run your finger over them. You look at your legs, which are just skin and bones at this point, no muscle or body fat to be seen anywhere on your body.

You start gathering yourself and getting ready for the day, putting on your best face in hopes of fooling Taylor.

Taylor arrives an hour later, and when you hear the keys rustle in the hallway, you sprint down the stairs and meet her there. You run to her and hug her tight, as well as kissing her lips. Taylor wraps her hands around you and kisses you back, happy to see you.

When she hugs you, she immediately feels that something is different about you. You feel way thinner and your skin is paler, she notices it right away. No amount of concealer would be able to cover  the bags under your eyes, so she pulls away from you, inspecting you closer.

"Have you been sleeping well?" she asks as she examines the bags under your eyes closer. Your throat closes up, and you know she's onto you. "I have had some insomnia recently, nothing to be worried about." you assure, trying to fool you with a smile. Taylor doesn't buy it, and continues to inspect every part of you. "Have you been eating enough? You seem thinner." she asks.

You swallow and nod, which Taylor immediately notices and sternly says: "Don't lie to me. Not about stuff like this. I'm serious. Have you been eating?" Her gaze seems to be eating you alive, and you look at your hands trying to find any excuse for her question. When she sees that you don't answer her question, she grabs hold of your hand and leads you to the living room, where you both sit on the couch.

"Y/N, tell me honestly, have you eaten anything at all?" she asks. You hesitate, and shake your head no. She sighs and takes a deep breath. "Why? Why didn't you tell me?" she demands to know. Tears well in your eyes and you open your mouth to speak, but she cuts you off.

"Why would you do that to yourself?". You speak up, speaking quietly, at the verge of tears. "Tay, I feel miserable because wherever we go, any social gathering, and you don't even call me your girlfriend. You always say that I'm your friend or your best friend, but do you have any clue how that makes me feel? It makes me feel like you don't want me, that you don't love me. And I see these beautiful models everywhere, and I just want to be like them, skinny and breath-taking in every way. Ever since I stopped eating, the media has been saying that I look happy just because I got skinny. But what if the old me is still me, even the real me, and why isn't she considered pretty? But ever since I saw how many people like me more when I'm skinny, I need to be skinny, there is no other way. And I thought that if i was skinnier, you'd like me more." You finish your rant, tears streaming down your face.

Taylor can basically feel her heart shattering, and she embraces you, whispering 'i love you' into your ear over and over, like a prayer. "We'll get through this together, I promise. I'll fix this." she whispers as she kisses your head and hugs you tight. You just nod, hoping for the best.

word count: 779

SOO HOW ARE WE FEELING ABOUT THIS ONE? ive been feeling kinda down lately (iykyk) and i thought about writing it into an imagine sooo what are we thinkin? also a huuge thanks to obscurest thanks for writing the best smut everr and having great energy