Leah's Girl - Bless the Broken Road

A month down the line ...

Leah POV -
After the scans confirmed that I had infact tore my ACL the surgery went well, a friend of mine moved in with me to help me but I still had this feeling of helplessness. I wasn't sleeping and I certainly wasn't eating and yet the only person who could ask me to do that was Ivy Smith, how can the interactions of instagram with a girl like her make me want to work on this and become better for her. As she said 'the comeback is stronger than the setback'. Part of me understood this. The other part of me did not.
As much as Ivy seemed to understand. I felt like I was falling deeper and deeper in a dark hole, I couldn't think straight. Let alone achieve anything that wasn't getting out of bed in the mornings.
My mind became clouded by the extent of the injury I had slowly retreated back to this angry version of myself. And most of all. I started pushing the closest of people away, I hadn't said more than 'hello' to Kim since the day in the physio room, and part of me wanted to speak to her. Tell her I'm sorry but that wouldn't change the fact that I cannot play football for the next 8 months.

As the days went on and I sat staring at the same four walls of my living room, I had found peace in drowning my sorrows. Football was my addiction, everything about it, the games, the training, the music was an addiction and this injury was like taking a sweet away from a baby, I felt helpless and I just wanted it back. The only way I could forget and enjoy myself was choosing alcohol over everything and everyone else. The only person I had even attempted to speak to was Ivy, she seems exhilarating, like a force to be reckoned with a challenge, something about her makes me want more from her. Again tonight I fell asleep cradling the bottle of whiskey and sprawled out across my couch, no one was getting it.

The next day
After drinking way too much last night my head this morning is pounding out of my skull. But it was rehab day, my sitting in a chair whilst some machine ensure the working muscles. Well we're exactly that. Working.
As I checked the time 8:06am I got out of bed and jumped into the shower ensuring I don't smell of alcohol. I don't need the questioning from the girls. After putting on my training gear I sat in my car setting off. For another boring day at work. And for the first time in 26 years it did feel like work.

Pulling into London Colney, I just stared in awe at the girls already kicking a football around. Walking through the training hub to find my seat in rehab. Where Emma our physio met me and gave me a list of what I would be doing today.
'Hi Emma' 'hey Leah how are you feeling today' ' you want me to be honest Emma' 'Honesty is the best policy Leah' 'I'm hanging, I'm tired, I don't want to do this, I'm not just saying it but I actively do not want to do any of this' 'Leah this is the third day in a row you have been hungover, should I be worried' 'no it's just something to ease my mind you don't need to be worried' 'I will be letting Jonas know if you come in tomorrow and there is no change' 'ok.' 'Let's get started shall we'

And there it was. Me laid down for 5 hours a day. Just me and my thoughts and that could only mean what am I going to drink tonight. I laid there for a few hours before my phone pinged. That's it right on cue, Ivy had messaged me

Ivysmith78 - hello Williamson, how's rehab going today ? X

leahwilliamsonn - hello Miss Smith, rehab is really really boring. No sugar coating the obvious, how are you today x

ivysmith78 - don't rush a slow process Williamson, it will come together eventually. I'm good. Just had my last game in Washington spirit colours ! So very bittersweet indeed x

leahwilliamsonn - very wise I must say miss smith. It will be but you once said everything happens for a reason. Where are you going to next ? X

ivysmith78 - I'm not sure I'm allowed to tell you 😏 but I could give you a clue ... it involves a football, two goals, plenty of training and hopefully plenty of games ! X

leahwilliamsonn - well well well. If that isn't teasing I don't know what is 👀 could I maybe be told a little bit more. If not I'll wind you up and message you relentlessly until you give in x

ivysmith78 - ha. Ha. Ha. I truly can't say anything yet about which club. But I am moving  back to England! X

leahwilliamsonn - oh nice ! So I'm that irresistible that you already caved 🙃 x

ivysmith78 - no Williamson, you open your mind up to me everyday about rehab and recovery, I thought I at least owed you one hint. Get back to recovery you. I've got deals and contracts to sort out over here ! X

leahwilliamsonn - maybe when you are back in England, we could get a coffee ? I like these conversations with you Ivy, it makes me feel less worthless, less of a failure. It's like you always know what to say to me that puts a smile on my face. But enjoy figuring out your future x

ivysmith78 - I believe you have told me you despise coffee no ? Thank you Williamson, I'm only saying the truth, but anything for that stunning smile to be showed off to the world aye ? X

leahwilliamsonn - I don't like coffee you are correct ! However you do and swear by it so if it means you getting a coffee whilst I sit opposite you figuring out how on earth you can drink it. Then I would love that ! Stunning smile, something you seem to know everything about 👀🙃 x

ivysmith78 - well if that's the case of course I'd love to grab a coffee whilst you sit and figure out how I drink it. I'm guessing you never done biology at school ? 🤣 I do, stalked your insta page 😝😏 x

leahwilliamsonn - ha. Not funny. won't have to stalk the page for long ! X

ivysmith78 - I'll speak to you tomorrow Williamson x

leahwilliamsonn - I CANT wait x

Okay so Ivy is cute, she's beautiful and she has banter. What's more is she gets me. And that's all I need. She never tells me my thoughts are bad, or that I shouldn't be thinking like that. Instead she embraces it, and makes everything more positive. I would go as far as to saying she is a superhuman when it comes to my own emotions.

Ivy to England, hopefully I can really be friends with her.

1 month down ... 8 to go