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CHAPTER TWENTY ( I Don't Wanna Talk About Anything )
AHN SUHO HAULS Cha Jaehwa out from her coffin ( otherwise known as her room, which houses a near freezing body on the verge of deterioration ) on a Friday night, begging and pleading with her to come hang out with him. He even goes as far as calling her parents, who have grown fond of his presence every time he happily drops off Jaehwa back home. His smile inevitably wins over the shrewd and suspicious glances from Boram and Si-woo, and he too becomes like their own.
He inhabits their living room more times than either parent can count, filling the air with senseless laughter and hearty conversation. While they struggle so deeply to make Jaehwa feel like she is not a stranger in her own home, Ahn Suho is apt in the art of making a house into a home. On the occasional day when Si-eun is willing enough to join them, Moon Boram and Cha Si-woo can say that their daughter has finally found her spark once more.
Slowly, they begin to forget about the aching feeling of Beomseok's absence.
( Jaehwa forgets it the moment he walks out on them. She wants to feel bad, but it's hard to feel anything for a boy who feels nothing for her ).
Instead, they begin to grow enveloped by the biting chill of an oncoming winter, cold and brittle, yet warm enough to hold together three bodies in an entwinement of heart and soul.
Jaehwa has forgotten what it means to be alone. She is always tethered, one way or another, to Ahn Suho or Yeon Si-eun.
Yet again, she finds herself interwoven in their mischievous late-night escapades, where Si-eun wears the helmet to Suho's motorbike despite his mumbled protests. When Jaehwa can relinquish the frown that sits heavily on her lips for a lighthearted grin, where she can discard her baggage into the delivery bin of Suho's vehicle.
It is so easy to feel when it is them she is feeling it with.
Wind caresses her tied-up hair as she grips the grooves of Si-eun's middle. She no longer cares whether the world can see her for who she truly is — A little girl who has been taken apart and put back together — Because the world hardly matters outside of the small circle she has made for herself. Not caring whether they are too big to fit on Suho's clunky delivery bike, not caring that passersby point and stare, Cha Jaehwa finally lets herself untether from everyone else's perception of herself.
Eventually, the trio find themselves resting at a small table beside a convenience store, energy drinks rotting their dry throats and bright blue seats digging into their backsides.
The dim lighting flickers in and out of Jaehwa's focus, and she takes another long swig of her drink.
"It's good, huh?" Suho grins to his two softer-spoken friends.
