Fragile Longing (Taekook)

Chapter Twenty Two

Warning: This chapter will touch various Sensitive topics (Mention of Abuse and Complex post-traumatic stress disorder). Skip if you want to. But this chapter will hold some fundamental matters that are connected with the story thoroughly. So read every word or it will be confusing for you ahead.

This thing called Love is very weird indeed,

Neither was I kept as hostage of yours;

Nor did I run away,

Yet your eyes called for me;

And my heart paved the way

.................... ............... ...................

He was six year old when he got acquainted with the word pain. Undisputed, unforgivable, merciless pain. He felt it for the first time when his mother's vacant eyes met him. No, he met it before too, when he had to clasp his hand over his mouth to not scream out loud when a blade that was shining as new cut through his father's neck, severing it in one go.

It felt like as if someone has amputated his heart, diced it in pieces, then made it whole only to repeat the process. It was unbearable for that six year old kid. It was still not anywhere near close to being accepted by a 29 year old Taehyung.

Maybe that's why, he could see it, sense it through that kid's smile too. He got his first glimpse when he rescued that kid in that forest, he saw it again when he embraced that kid yesterday night. That thing, it was there. Most importantly it comes when it is dark. He could see right through those sparkling eyes, where that darkness lurks that Taehyung has harbored for 23 years now.

That is the only reason he was now standing in front of Kim Seokjin's home at evening, with a kid fiddling with the cuff of Taehyung's jacket, looking at the unknown place with fear in those eyes.

"P..psycho." That small voice wavered and his heart clenched. "You are not going to get rid of me, are you?"

Taehyung smiled, fixed those red burning hair, fixed his shirt which that boy was wearing now, trying to settle that kid's mind at peace. "I am right here princess. I will be here too, as long as you want, you will find me beside you, behind you, along with you but.." His finger brushed those unruly red hair away from those big eyes. "But never away from you."

That kid seems to search for something in his face, those unsettled eyes holding his in captive before slowly nodding his head timidly, holding onto his hand, tangling their fingers before smiling that way only he can.

"Ok then. Let's go."

Even though that kid seems to shed any remaining doubt, Taehyung's heart was not agreeing. It kept twisting inside him, not settling in peace. Tormenting him for what will happen if he enter through that door. His mind was not giving him the go for it. Yet Seokjin was convincing enough when he called this morning. He resonated with him.

"Only half hour Tae. Only half hour. That's all I need. Let me talk to the kid."

"You are mistaken if you think that I will agree Kim Seokjin." Taehyung gritted his teeth, his hold over the mug getting tighter, his eyes looking to check if that kid has come out of the washroom.

"Tae..he..the way you described his symptoms to me, they all matched with..."

"Matched with what?" His brows furrows when he could sense hesitancy in Seokjin's voice. "Matched with what Jin?"

A sigh can be heard over the phone. The other man not saying anything for several second as if arranging words so he could say it in a simple, less painful way. And that thing, halted him, gripped his insides, refusing to believe what his mind was indicating at. Something serious, well beyond his thinking limit.