Mr Boo

Chapter 4

Ghost felt his heart lift as he drove towards the small farmhouse in the country, feeling the growing longing brought on with his dreams. After so many years of pain and torment, Ghost found that he still craved the quiet, soft and safe environment and the loving arms of his very own family. The negative and doubting parts of his psyche criticised these dreams, telling him that he would never get to have this. He didn't deserve it.

Those doubting, critical voices vanished as soon as he pulled up to the house and saw Georgia on the porch with Emily in her arms, watering the plants. His heart lifted and the world around him took on a sense of vivid colours. He could hear Emily giggling, mingled in with the sounds of birds tweeting away in the trees. This world would be beautiful, he thought.

Emily excitedly calling out "Boo" had him grinning like a fool as he walked towards the house. Georgia's smile, no less radiant, welcomed his presence like a comfort blanket. "How you doing ladies? You all ready?" he asked with a light tone.

"We're ready, let me just grab my purse and the car seat" Georgia answered as Emily held out her arms to Ghost for him to hold her. He gratefully accepted with no hesitation.

While Georgia gathered her things and locked up the house, Ghost chuckled at Emily as she pulled at his balaclava, trying to lift it. He distracted her by pointing to the flowers they'd been watering, chattering randomly about what each of them were, as Emily cooed and babbled along.

The drive back to base felt like an extension of the dream, with light conversation and laughter. The sun was shining and even though Ghost would be preparing to go off on mission that evening, he felt on top of the world.

Once at the base, Ghost carried Emily in her car seat, down the corridor to Georgia's new office, ignoring the odd looks from a couple of the admin personnel. Emily, once unstrapped, held out her arms again for Ghost to pick her up, "Sorry sweetheart, I have to go work now and you have to go to creche" he said warmly, but his heart tugged at seeing her little frown.

"Boo has to say bye bye. Maybe you'll see him later" Georgia said apologetically to her pouting daughter.

"We have the green light for our mission leaving later today. It may be a couple of days" Ghost replied, his voice showing his disappointment. "I'll drop by the mechanic and get him to call you when you're truck's ready" he added.

"Thanks so much, I really appreciate it. I hope the mission goes well. Come back safe Ghost" Georgia said with such sincerity, Ghost could hear a voice in his head saying 'Just tell me to stay and I'll never leave'.

Three days later, Ghost was back on base after a successful mission. All three teams had been able to locate, capture or eliminate the members of the Al Qatala cells. The team were in a jubilant mood when they returned, congratulating each other on their success as the senior officers headed off for their debriefing. Ghost's mind was on one thing. Seeing Georgia and Emily again.

Finally dismissed from duty, Ghost headed to the admin building to see Georgia, but was disappointed to find that she had already left. Back in his quarters, he paced the floor as his internal argument raged. Who was he to them? He'd only known them for a short time, he had no claim to their lives. So why was he so caught up in being with them? The critical voice told him that he was intruding and they would soon tire of him anyway. He would always be alone.

The critical negative voice running around his head, continued to intrude in his dreams that night. He dreamt of that beautiful house in the country, with his wife and child playing in the yard, but this time, he was watching from afar, an outsider. In his dream he called out to them, asking them to let him stay, but they ignored him. The critical voice mocked him for being desperate and pathetic. They didn't want him because he was useless and would only bring them sadness and pain.