SECRET LOVE, hotchniss

13

Terror. Gut wrenching terror.

Then relief.

Than more terror.

Aaron thought not knowing where Reid was, whether he was dead or alive, was the worst part of this entire situation. It was the fear of the unknown, every possibility racing through his mind over and over again.

So when the video of Reid tied to a chair, drugged, but alive, appeared on their screens he was hit with a wave of relief. They all were.

But that relief was short lived. Because he was now laying on the floor. Dead. And they had all had to witness it.

For a moment, just a moment, he had wished they were still in the darkness of the unknown. Because knowing Reid was dead, seeing Reid dead, was unbearable.

The room was silent apart from the quiet sobs of Penelope. Everyone else was frozen in place with their eyes locked on the screen, their breaths held as their brains short circuited, unable to process what they had just seen. 

Aaron had to leave. He couldn't watch this anymore. He felt sick. This was all his fault, he had sent Reid here and now he was dead. Aarons body felt like it was boiling from the inside out, like he was being smothered by his own skin.

Garcias voice crying out forced him back into the room, Henkel was giving him CPR.

And suddenly Reid was breathing. He was alive. They weren't too late. As relief washed over him again, he didn't bask in it. He knew this was only temporary. Just because Reid was alive for now, it didn't mean he would be for long.

When Emily spoke it stunned him. While all of their brains had stopped working the moment Reid had died on their screen, hers had kept turning. She had held it together while the rest of them had gone into a state of shock. She was still working the case, piecing together clues and gathering information, she was bringing Reid home dead or alive.

And now that he was alive, she was working harder than ever to keep it that way.

Aaron was grateful, her questions had pulled him back into focus, retraining his eye on the goal at hand.

But they all froze once again when Henkel asked Reid to choose one of his team to die.

Emily watched as Spencer refused to choose, despite the loaded revolver inches from his forehead.

She pleaded with him in her mind, hoping that by some miracle he would be able to hear her.

'Choose me. Spencer. Choose me.'

She was the newest. She knew he liked her, but they weren't family. Saying her name out loud would have significantly less emotional consequences to him, to everyone. If you had to send someone to slaughter it was the obvious choice to send the stranger, before your best friends. 

The air was becoming thick, palpable, as Spencer continued to offer his own name rather than naming anyone else, naming her.