My Dominant, My Fifty Shades

Chapter Eleven

I awoke to find he broke one of his rules; sleeping together. I did not understand the rule as nothing had seemed to happen that was of emotional strain. I sure felt dirty and definitely tired and weak. My legs were taken from underneath the covers as I was able to slide the silk sheet over my body to walk toward the bathroom and shower. As I turned the handle and the water hit my body, it was almost better than the moment shared with him. But as I stood there, I began to cry. To myself, I was no longer the virgin everyone saw me as. I was tainted. Branded among those who did not wait until after marriage. Growing up in a religious family, it was a big weight on my mind and heart.

The bathroom door came open and I saw Vincent to stand there as he saw my sadness. I could tell he was trying to decide what to do....I had decided to blame the tears on dry eyes but he refused to believe me.

"I'm not a saint anymore." I eventually confessed. "I'm not pure or innocent, I'm...I'm just like everybody else..."

"You think sex is a bad thing?"

I was unable to answer truthfully. It sure didn't feel bad or wrong but afterwards it did...

"No. But before marriage..."

"So you're still a prude. Even against yourself..." Before I could respond, he took me directly from the shower-turning off the water at the same time and pinning me against the sink which was cold against my skin. "I would have taken you sooner or later Adelaide. I am glad you let me because it has made me see that you aren't right for this."

"What? Why not?"

"Look at you...you're too fragile. Any whips or cables on your skin and that will cause psychological pain. You've already been through enough. I'm just going to take you home."

"No." I said surprising both him and myself. My voice echoed. He handed me his robe on the back of the door and although I accepted the clothing, I rejected his demand. "You cannot order me around. I am not your submissive and won't be. Not because I can't handle it but because I can't do this. I can't feel like this. Knowing I get nothing out of it."

"You get me."

"But I don't. You have done this before-I'm new to it. I don't know anything about it, about why you want it or how you found it. What makes it alluring for you. I'm not sad about my lost virginity so much as I am that you want to hurt me." I said as I made my way to the bedroom and dressed-not allowing him to see me naked.

"I am trying to help-"

"I just want to go. I don't want you to come with me."

"Wait..." He said as he grabbed my arm. "If you want this to work, as much as I do, we must go over the contract. Are you willing to do that?"

"What's the point? You think I'm not ready and I'm not just going to be something you can fuc-"

"You will never be that! You are much more than that!"

"No. You want me to sign something that gives you free reign to screw me anywhere. I don't like that. Knowing you get to make the rules. If this going to happen, I need to know more..."

He closed his eyes before asking me to stay put. He went over to his jeans before pulling his phone from his pocket. Vincent held it up to his ear and sighed.

"Hey you busy?" The air was quiet for a moment before I could hear a voice on the opposite end of the phone. "Great. She will be coming by in about ten. Can you help me with something? Thank you. No, it's just a sub. Potential. Won't agree until she knows. I want you to tell her. Yes, I'm sure..."

My heart stopped as he set the phone down. "There. He'll tell you everything. He's my best friend and is the only one who knows what I do and why. But after you meet with him if you don't want this, don't see me again. I don't want you to come back if you don't want this. I want you and all of you, not doubt not insecurity. I want a willing submissive at my doorstep to return, and I hope it's you..." He said as he walked me to the elevator.