Paul Atreides x Shrek

They saw each other -_-

Paul POV

"PAUL WAKE UP YOU IDIOT"

I woke up because of my 223947372937382972939282 year old mom Jessica who was screaming at me from the kitchen. Hoping not to get her golden glittery Bruno Mars flipflop in my gorgeous face, I got dressed in 0.0000000000000001 seconds. I put on a dark edgy black sweater because I'm so emo, some baggy pants which looked like a big sacks of garbage that haven't been taken out in 1111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years.

"You finally here. Eat"

My mom Jessica tossed me in her expensive Chinese white virgin porcelain plate some roasted bacon, two eggs with so much yellow my eyes bulged and a glass of apple juice which looked like unhealthy rotten piss. I ate quickly and headed to Starbucks to my shift. I started serving customers until I saw him. A beautiful green sexy tall muscular thirsty looking creature...