The House of Life

Chapter 15

The desert can be unforgiving, relentless, ruthless and yet it can be beautiful. The sensation of the grains of sand whipping at my face, prickling at my skin. The visions of blood spilling from my hands and staining the desert sand. The voice that keeps whispering in my ears, haunting me at every wake. I felt like I was in a trance, constantly reliving those moments and never being able to escape. What must I do to keep my sanity in place?! 

"Anna?"

My body jolting at the mention of my name as we were all sitting around the kitchen, eating our meal. Ardeth with this concerned expression on his face and Qasim's vacant thoughts circling around him as he was unaware of what was going on. I looked down to see there was a plate of food in front of me, untouched. While everyone else's has either been cleaned off or remnants of their dinner still scattered on their plate. 

This is the first meal I had since our escape from Hermopolis, and yet I have no appetite for it. I released a shallow breath and shut my eyes for a second to remember where I was, hoping that maybe just for a second I can escape the horrors of this desert. But every time I did escape, all I could think of is what Ardeth and we did earlier this evening.

'Why did I do it?' I thought. My body was not my own and for a moment, I felt of sense of wanting and guilt. I had never experienced this before, it was frightening and yet I kept wanting more. My gaze wandered towards him, as I took in every detail of his stature. His broad shoulders, his puffed out chest, his pronounced biceps, his full lips, I could go on for hours if it weren't for his worried eyes gazing at mine. A brush of heat rose into my cheeks, the next thing I knew I excused myself to be anywhere but here. 

"I'm sorry, I must excuse myself for a moment." 

No response. I just started striding towards the hallway, as I made my way to the bathroom, and locked the door. I turned on the facet as I let the running water splash into the sink. "What's wrong with me?" I said under my breath. I looked at myself in the mirror to see how pathetic I looked. My complexion had a dusty rose color with my tan skin and I could see the pulsing of my veins on my neck. I felt like my heart was going to explode. I had never felt like this with anyone, not even Isaac and yet I feel a tinge of guilt because of it. I want these feelings to go away but like a drug, my body yearns to be close to Ardeth, to be near him. I cupped my hands under the running water as I splashed my face several times, allowing the cooling temperature of the water to sit on my face. When I turned off the facet and went to wipe my face with a towel, I gazed at myself in the mirror, as a shadowy figure stood behind me. My heart stopped as I turned to see nothing but the towel rack and the poorly painted wall. My breathing stopped for a few seconds as I gasped for air. I looked back into the mirror to see if the figure was still there, but it was just me in the reflection. I let out a quivering breath as I said, "I must be going crazy."

I still have one foot in Hermopolis. I pounded my fist to the sink in frustration only for a surge of pain to creep up my arm. A pool of blood was seeping through my bandages from the impact. I had forgotten that I had my wounds to think about. I started looking in the bathroom for more bandage material. I looked under the sink to find a brown box. I opened it to find a bandage kit and with it a bottle of Ether. 

'Why is there a bottle of this?' I thought. This is an anesthetic, not only that, an inhalant that is used in surgical patients. But we don't use this as much in the states because doctors would use this to get a high. I better make sure Qasim doesn't get a hold of it by accident. I observed the bottle a little longer when a knock on the door startled me as I shuffled to hide the bottle back into the box. 

"Anna, can I come in?" 

I quickly shoved the box into the back of the cabinet and closed the doors. I placed the bandages on top of the sink to make it look like I wasn't snooping around. I unlocked the door and cracked the door open to see Ardeth. His face worried as he asked to come in. I nodded and allowed him to enter. I went to sit on the toilet as he kneeled next to me.