Inventing Wonders

Chapter 20: It's Obvious

The passionate desire to merge with another person is a great human weakness. Even knowing that one should not dissolve into another, that it is important to remain a whole individual, deep within our being, we strive to become one with another creature. There is something of an unconscious motive for paradise in this, a longing for peace and union with something great.

Having expressed this thought, Lara leaned back in her chair, looking down sadly, trying not to meet the eyes of those gathered.

"Lara, are you trying to say you've decided to get engaged to someone?" Katasha leaned forward, involuntarily glancing at Bulgari, who was playing cards with the General and Trubetskoy. They had decided not to let Lara play at the table anymore.

"No, dear Ekaterina Ivanovna," surprisingly understanding Kondratiy Fyodorovich shook his head, "what she means is that the engineer has burst back into our Lara's life..." He wanted to say it loudly and passionately, to express all his dissatisfaction with his friend's behavior, but he remembered in time that not only the closest circle was gathered here and fell silent.

"No..." Ekaterina Ivanovna gasped. "And what about your dear friend?.."

"The quality of our conversations, gentlemen, leaves much to be desired," Lara responded mournfully, hating herself for having made such a situation possible. "In any case, I can hardly imagine myself as a married woman. I don't think I'll ever subject some fool to such suffering..." the countess snorted and felt Bulgari's gaze on her.

"Don't talk nonsense!" Katasha got angry, considering such statements to be empty coquetry. "You are an attractive girl... Especially when you don't do silly things..." by silly things, Trubetskaya meant the peasant tan on her friend's body.

"I engage in such silliness," Lara suddenly concluded, reflecting the thoughts that unfolded in her head, not in the parlor.

"No, Larisa Konstantinovna, you are avoiding the conversation!" Ryleev declared.

That evening, heated by wine, he saw before him two equal goals: to start a revolution and to prevent Lara from ruining her life by forgiving the mysterious engineer. In general, his level of dislike for the royal family was roughly equal to his hatred for a dishonorable nobleman.

"And you, Count, still haven't thought of getting married?" The General glanced at his cards, which did not add any joy.

"Mercy, General," Bulgari responded evasively.

"And what's wrong with that?" the old man smirked. "Look at the prince. Tell us, prince, isn't it a joy to have a wife like yours?"

Trubetskoy glanced at Katasha from under his brows and noted with regret that if he did not have such a wife, he would not have to drag himself to the back of beyond and listen to idle chatter all day, enduring the nervousness of the inviting countess. No, now he could confidently declare: marriage is a quagmire, a trap with no escape.

"And why don't you marry, General?" Sergey Petrovich kept these thoughts to himself.

"Oh, what good would it do an old man like me..." he let out a too-loud laugh, which caught Alexandra's interest.

"Of course, I want my own children very much..." Sasha said shyly, telling Natalya Mikhailovna about how she was teaching Fedya French and music.

"I can't disagree," Ryleeva nodded, surprised by the pleasantness of someone living under the same roof as Larisa Konstantinovna, "a happy family is true happiness! It is indeed marriage..."

The repeated talk of marriage made Lara's head ache. She wanted to jump up and shout: "How can you discuss such nonsense?! Be quiet! It's all over for you! Wake up!" Instead, the countess just wearily leaned on her hand: when would everyone go to bed?