Prince Charming Wears Skinny Jeans and Eyeliner

Not Yet

I spent the night with Tommy.

By spent the night with Tommy I mean I was in the same apartment with him. I slept on the couch even though he asked me to sleep with him. I could see the nervousness in his eyes. I did not want to make him uncomfortable. So I slept on a lumpy couch and by slept I mean my eyes were shut most of the night. I couldn't actually sleep because, well you know, Tommy was in the room right down the hall in a very big bed that I had declined the invataion to join him in. This thought only came to me after I said goodnight. I also had a lot to think about. Tommy had not told me anymore abut this guy other that he had been his first boyfriend and male lover. Ofcourse I wanted to know more but I knew he would tell me with time. I'd have to earn the right to know and this did not even seem like a hardship to me. I was happy to get to know him more. I lay awake thinking about what we had just after this short time; what would this relationship be like in a year? Two? Five? I mentally slapped myself, I have no idea how long this will really last. I knew I was falling for him and I was falling faster than I had ever fallen before. When the clock finally rolled around to the more decent hour of seven I got up and went looking through the kitchen. I thought it'd be nice to suprise Tommy with breakfast. I found everything I need to make an omelet and got busy. I remembered Tommy saying something about needing coffee to function so I made a big pot. I let my mind wander as I cooked. I always liked cooking, it was oddly comforting to me for some reason. I looked down at the pan and it was like deja vu but not in a good way. The last time I made breakfast for someone, no. I tried to stop thinking but it was too late, all those memories came flooding into my mind and pushed the tears right out of my eyes. I tried to take a few deep breaths but I could not stop the tears. It still hurt so much sometimes.

"Adam? Are you okay?"

Tommy's voice was full of concern. I tried to wipe away my tears but I knew it was too late. I felt his hand on my shoulder as he turned me around.

"Babyboy, what's wrong?"

He looked really worried now but I could not say anything, I fell into his opened arms and sobbed on his shoulder. I knew in my head that it was unfair to cry about a past love on the shoulder of a new lover but my heart did not seem to care. I knew Tommy would understand, not that I was sure I was ready to explain all that.

Tommy reached around me and turned off the stove. He awkwardly shuffled over to the couch, as I clung to him. He sat me down and kneeled next to me, pulling my head to his chest as he rubbed my back gently. He whispered sweet nothings in my ear and it really helped but the part of my heart that still felt for my past lover could not be mended.

I slowly began to compose myself and pulled my head away from Tommy's chest so I could wipe my face. I imagine I was a sight with all my makeup from the night before now smudged all over my face. When I looked up at Tommy I noticed he was watching my intenly, his eyes full of care and worry.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to break down like that."

He smiled gently, reaching out and stroking my cheek with his thumb,

"No need to be sorry Adam. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

I bit my bottom lip,

"Well, I, you're not the only one with a messed up past with men."

I sighed, giving up. I was suprised to feel his hand on my back again. He seemed a bit suprised but not mad at me for hiding this little fact.

"Everyone has a bad relationship once in awhile."

He said firmly. A small smile spread across my lips. I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers.

"It was not really a bad relationship. In fact, I loved him with all my heart. I thought he was the one for so long,"

I paused and looked at Tommy who looked a little sad but still had a small and loving smile on his face,

"Then I met you."

His entire face brightened and I couldn't help but return that beautiful smile.

"His name was Clark. I was with him a couple years ago. We had a wonderful relationship, maybe it was too good. We never fought which means we never had a reason to make up, which I think is an important part of a relationship."

I sighed and squeezed Tommy's hand tighter,

"We only fought one time. It was a terrible arguement about something stupid, I can't even remember what it was about now. It got so heated that I told him to get out of my apartment. I have never regretted something so much, but you can't change the past."

I took a deep breath, I hadn't told this story in a long time,

"He left and a couple hours later I got a call from the local hospital."

I heard Tommy gasp but continued,

"They told me to come right away. Clark had been hit by a drunk driver; he hadn't even been driving. He was walking down the fucking street and got hit."

I put my head in my hands,

"I rushed to the hospital but when I got there it was too late. He was gone."

I felt new tears slip down my cheek.

I expected rejection, for Tommy to hate me for trying to be with him with all these problems still on my heart, but I didn't get what I expected.

Tommy lifted my chin up and pulled my hands apart, he crawled into my lap and cuddled into my chest,

"I am so so sorry Adam. No one deserves to lose someone they love so much."

I was speechless. I wrapped my arms around him and cried into the crook of his neck. He simply held me close.

After I had calmed down some he spoke up,

"I know I could never replace him but I'd love it if you gave me the chance to see if maybe we could love eachother like that. I already know you're special. I knew the moment I set eyes on you that you were different. You already have a place in my heart."

I smiled sweetly at him, could I really be lucky enough to get a second chance at true love?

"I'd love that too glitterbaby. I knew you were special that night I met you in the bar. I loved Clark but what I feel with you is completely different and new. You already stole my heart but baby, I don't want it back."

He giggled before pressing his lips against mine. A sweet kiss to seal the deal. Our hearts were both in this one-hundred percent.