Archived

Finding

As I sat there I could see that Martin was in the archives, he seemed to be out of sorts as he quietly looked through a box, he seemed to be in his world as he didn't seem to notice I was standing there. I hesitated to talk to him knowing that he probably would even try to talk.

"Martin?"

"Jesus Christ!"

He fumbled with the paper in his hand as they all dropped on the floor

"sorry sorry.."

As he went to the floor I held one out to him, doing so all I could see was tiredness in hushed eyes. There was nothing left in him but a stare.

"It's fine.."

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Kinda in the middle of something?"

"Right..right.."

"is it important?."

"No, not really, it's just.."

I looked at him to make sure it was okay to just spill out, but he nodded and stood there patiently

"It's just.. Tim- there was a lot that happened with him and I'm just trying to, rationalize what happens I guess? I want to know where he is..and Jon saying I could try but he doubts I could.."

I lean on the shelf
"And with the unknowing, it's like I barely know what happen.."

"Well, you were in the hospital for a while.."

"I know I know, it's just everyone is saying he's just gone and I don't want to believe that for one second."

"Well, you are a very rational person so you want to think the unthinkable, which is reasonable.
you woke up know where you were and who you were but do you actually know? You told me that you had no idea if you were ever there in the first place and if you where which you did would you have known that if I told you?

"You have a point, the whole explanation Jon gave me was- not that resourceful."

"And he was there which goes to show that he has no idea either."

"But isn't he like supposed to know everything now?"

"why know what your supposed then everything you can?"

"Yeah."
I looked down to the floor trying to think things out  thinking if Jon couldn't remember himself what happened then how was I supposed to?"
Martin the grabbed my attention by clearing his throat.

"Um, I know you don't know Petter yet but would you want to go with me? We're going out on the water for one of the statements, I was thinking it could take your mind off it?"

"Are you sure I know how you are with the whole being alone thing.."

He laughed at the fact

"ho-ho trust me I don't want to be alone"

"okay?"

I smiled with a laugh in my face.

Walking down the hallway back to the front lobby was immense it was very quiet there was no one spreading throughout the halls no Jon with his cream-led papers just..silence.

With being with Martin for so long, especially on the bus, I mean it's Martin so it wasn't as weird as you would think. But he was so quiet about what his normal would be.

But since we were on there for a while I decided to start writing it helped me focus just sitting there as I wrote everything that was in front of me, though as I started to get more down there was even more around me where I couldn't even tell if Martin was talking to me

"Marcus? Marcus? Marcus!"

"H-huh?"

"Are you even listening?"

"O-oh sorry,"

There was a sharp and nervous laugh in my voice "You are so sucked into that journal"

"yeah I guess so"

I scratched the back of my neck

"what are you even writing??"

"Oh um, my surroundings?"

"Oh?.."

"I know that might sound weird but- like it helps me focus sometimes or if I'm just well in the zone I doodle.."

I slightly shuffled next to him showing him the small doodles and the writings.

"Is this him?"

"Yeah.."

"you miss him huh?"

"Yeah. I know this sounds weird..but do- do you ignore others for a reason?"

"Mm..well it more for Lucas's sake?"

"Hm?"

"Well it's hard to put into words, it's more like he's in a cycle of trying to..eh"

"manipulate?"

"Yeah?..it's not just me he wants me to bring you to try and get you on "our" side" "What this "our" side?"

"Well.. he does like to include others? And it's just- you're connected to all these things and with that there can be one main thing that can be connected to us"

"mm"

"getting you away from the others can help with that."

"Is there more to this?"

"I guess it's just for the most part we have to get you with us in the "connection"
"I see"

At the time I had no idea what he was talking a talking about was he talking about how there was a connection between who we both felt it was hard to picture without actually asking him?