Archived

Healing

[TW, episode contains bleed, flesh impulses harm and conflict harm]

I get it I was healing and they were worried but I was restless, there was nothing else on my mind but finding him and if he was out there I would and it was clear that he was, but There was so much self doubt that I couldn't bare to let it go.
I was so tired of hearing what "did" happen to Him and I wasn't ready to let him go. But after that night I had decided to give it a rest I guess...

But it didn't give me much feeling, feeling that you were actually doing something with your life other than just reading statements.

I lied in bed just going through my thought, what if leaving the archives would help?

We knew how to and Melanie had already showed an example, well rather a sample of it.

Do what? gouging my eyes out? I wouldn't be that bad, would it?

Before thinking over I would have need a second opinion, and if that second opinion talks me out of it, maybe I would listen or if not, then.

I had sat out of bed as my thoughts were working like clock work,

"maybe Jon? He would be still there right? Then again I did just bursted on him so- Martin let try Martin.. wait no he would talk me out of it."

"Melanie, No...she would be sleeping by now and she needs her rest..."

"Maybe do it to my skin as see.. how painful it is? Yeah, yeah.."

I grabbed on of the pocket knives I had handling for a while, and start digging in to my skin..

"Ah-"

as I started to go deeper I had dropped the blade in pain. Holding the wound as it bleed seeing the red water trickled down from my flesh.

I couldn't, not just physically I couldn't just leave them. They need me even if all of us had a bad relationship.

Though I was in my own little head of mine why would they need me Martin had his thing with Lucas, Jon was still working for Elias in some way where did that leave me? Just another thing to just cast away. Be left to rot like Tim if he was even rotting at this point... he was basically found at this point just not coming to the archives which I would understand.

I laid there in the comfort of my bed thinking knowing what I had to do and who I to talk to..My mind raced as sleep fell upon me feeling the warmth of my covers.