New Needy Lesnicki

Chapter 6

  I stand off to the side as Colin sits on his bike.

He's in the process of dropping me off, but I'm hesitant to leave when I know I upset him.

After a minute of me standing there, Colin turns off his bike and takes off his helmet.

He's not looking at me, so I feel nervous.

"Colin, I'm sorry. I thought it would be less noticeable if I went alone. It was necessary. I would've brought you if I could. Please say you believe me."

I plead with him.

After a beat, Colin let's out a sigh.

He turns and gives me a small smile.

"I know. I was just worried something would happen when I wasn't there with you. I'd hate not being there when you need me."

My heart softens to an insane degree, at his words.

I'm pretty sure it's mushy by now. Like a mashed potato heart.

I meet his gaze with a soft smile.

"I really appreciate you helping me. You have no idea. I wasn't nearly as scared as I would've been without you."

I honestly want to hug him so bad. But I'm not sure it's appropriate. So I just kind of hesitate, bouncing on my toes.

I know we've held hands, but that was only when I'd needed his guidance so it was a little different.

You also sat in his lap...

Why do I have to remember that right now!?

I feel my cheeks heat up at that memory.

"I'm going to head inside. I'll see you later."

I finally say as I turn to leave.

It feels like I have to physically rip my self away from him and I resent myself for being so clingy.

How did this happen in a single day? Is it because he's been so reliable? Or because I feel like I'm not alone anymore?

It was definitely odd. Although all of my friendships with other girls I've had have also been very close. I've held hands with them and always been the type to want to be close.

Or, I guess I used to be. I wonder what flipped in my head.

When you feel like you know someone, and you trust them... I guess this happens?

I'm just not used to it because Colin's a guy. I have trouble drawing lines and knowing when the relationship veers from friendship.

It's the affectionate side of me, I guess. But I need to be more careful from now on. The last thing I want is to make Colin uncomfortable, when he's been nothing but nice to me. Or be a drain on his energy and good will.

I'm distracted from my thoughts when I feel Colin pull me back.

I turn around and meet his steady gaze again.

"Hold on. Give me your phone. I want to make sure you have my number."

I take my phone out, put in my pass code, and hand it over.

I'll be careful how I use it. I won't become a burden to him. Or a bad friend.

I'm used to relying on myself for things, so this shouldn't be too difficult.

He puts in his number and hands it back to me.

I give him one last smile and wave as I walk towards the direction of my house.