Going Back to Sin City

It's a Bonfire, Turn the Lights Out

Brendon sat on the edge of his bed, it had been about four days since his over and underwhelming outing with his new neighbor, and what his mother called friends. He felt out of it, he felt like blaming it on the fact he was put back on Ritalin since his parents felt it was easier to just sedate him than care about him. He looked out the window in front of him. Ryan was standing there just staring at his house. Could Ryan see him sitting on the bed like a zombie? He sure hoped not, but Ryan had already seen him at his worst, this wouldn't be new. He didn't want to show his face around his new "friends", it was embarrassing enough when he sat at the diner saying nothing. They all looked at him like there was something wrong with him. There was, but it wasn't for them to know.

A pebble flew to Brendon's window,scaring him a little bit. He got closer to the window, he could see Ryan's face a bit clearer now. He should have put his glasses on, but he didn't know where those were. Probably still in his suitcase under a pile of T-shirts and boxers. He needed to unpack his suitcase, he should be doing that right now. Instead, he was sitting down on the side of the bed this quiet Thursday afternoon. The school would be starting in the week ahead. Solidifying this wasn't just some shitty vacation spot. Ryan signalied for Brendon to open his window. With an ounce of hesitation, he did. "What do you want?" Did he sound harsh? He didn't think he sounded harsh, but Ryan's face sort of dropped when he heard it. He sounded harsh. "I wondered if you would like to come with me to a bonfire? It's not going to be just me and you, but friends of mine and some other kids from my school. We have beer." He was a lot more quiet than he was four days ago, or was Spencer the one being loud? He was having trouble remembering that outing, it's not like he wanted to remember it. It was traumatic the way ketchup shot out his nose while eating french fries. He didn't want to remember any of that.

Brendon thought about it, his mom would probably say yes if he asked her, but he wanted an excuse to not go. Then again, maybe she was right maybe getting out of the house would help. He was miserable here, but he didn't feel like being away from the house would make him any less miserable. "I'll ask my mom." He closed the window and walked downstairs to the living room. His mother was watching some soap opera on the television, some show called The Young and Restless. He hated to admit that the show was interesting at times. "My...." He didn't have any adjectives to describe Ryan so he went with the next best one. "friend Ryan invited me to a bonfire, may I go?" Friend, that was a word he would use for Bill, but Bill was in Hawaii most likely having a good time without him. "I don't see why not." Grace wanted him out of the house, she wasn't used to him always being home. He was always out with his friend Bill or his siblings. It bothered her seeing him in the house. A part of it was just that Grace didn't have the grace to deal with him.

Brendon stood there defeated, why would she say yes? Bonfires usually had kids drinking, having sex in cars, and all those sinful things. Why couldn't she say no? Why was she trying ti get rid of him? "Thank you, Mom." He turned around and decided to not tell Ryan his mom said no even though she did say yes. He went through the front door. "She said yes." He faked some enthusiasm for the first time in a while. "Great, let's go." Ryan had his car waiting across the street. It was empty, meaning no Spencer or Brent. That felt less intimidating.

He thought it would be another awkward car ride, but something about it felt calming and not overwhelming. "What school are you going to?" Ryan wasn't looking at Brendon making the stakes not as high. "Parkland Highschool?" If that was the correct name, he didn't fully remember himself. He didn't want to think about a new school, he liked his old one. "My high school." Ryan kept driving. "We have a music club, we lost a member because of Patrick leaving." There it goes, Ryan is just replacement hunting. The only reason Brendon was in this car is because he was a replacement hire. "That's cool, I like music." Blanket statement anyone can say they like music, but that doesn't mean you want to join a music club. "You should join."

Was Ryan going to enlist him in the military next? "I should." Brendon was like hot plastic, really easy to bend. "You don't have to agree to everything. I'm just trying to get you to talk. You're quiet all the time." Ryan took a weird, turn it looked like they were nearing a graveyard of some sort. You could sort of smell smoke, they were getting close. More people to be around, Brendon liked people. He wasn't the socially awkward type, but something about all of this was just terrifying. He needed to let go of this whole not making roots. "It's a lot, you could say I'm nervous."

"Well, I don't expect anything from you. You're new here, I'm just trying to be friendly." The way Ryan looked at him the day he got here wasn't friendly. He looked at him like he was ruining something. "I know, I'm sorry about your friend." Brendon looked at the window, trees, normal trees. Couldn't there be something else to look at? "You don't have to apologize for that. The house is for sale, your parents bought it. Just cause my old friend lived there doesn't mean anything. I miss him but you didn't make him leave." Was Ryan picking up on the fact Brendon felt bad for possibly kicking out Patrick, the statement felt rehearsed. Like Ryan had said this before. He didn't know what to say, usually he would blurt something stupid. Got a reaction, but that didn't seem appropriate. "We're friends, don't forget that." Ryan parked before Brendon figured out what to say. He patted Brendon's shoulder. There was a bit of a mutual, he wouldn't call it happiness but understanding. This could be beneficial.

Bonfires are sort of like friendships, no matter how much resources you put into them. It will be put out. For right now a new bonfire has been lit too bad it will only last till June.