war-ridden | 최연준

17 | i know i love you.

[ ❄️ ]

Slams were heard through the echoes of his walls, the crashing of different objects slamming to the floor as he shuffled through his belongings. He fumbled through the dressers, the desk, and under the bed.

Who was that girl to him and why had she struck his memory like a lightning bolt in a thunderstorm?

His hands went up to his mouth as he sat on his bed, trying to recall anything. Why did that princess of Chihu have such an affect on him?

He looked around his room, his eyes peering around the dresser.

The painting.

He took a few footsteps, removing the canvas from the frame for the first time. On the back, in ink, had been a love letter he didn't remember writing years ago.

Akari,

Can I call you darling? I met you only a couple of weeks ago, but I've never felt like this before. I've never felt such a love for somebody as gorgeous, who takes steps as delicate as dandelion leaves, who is as beautiful as waves crashing on the shore. This painting is for you, the girl I've fallen for. I'll never leave your side.

Yeonjun.

"I left your side." He dropped the glass frame, shattering to pieces onto the wooden floor. He gasped in an effort to remember this girl he was so certain about. He grabbed the box of letters dedicated to him that had been long hidden under his bed, all signed in a familiar black ink font. He found a letter from the girl herself, begging for him back after a supposed fight. Begging for him to hold her again, to kiss her again, to love her before it's too late.

He was certain she was his anchor—she was the light he had been missing in all of his dark days. Nobody could fill that empty hole in his heart, but the thought of her made him complete. From the moment his eyes met hers in the village, he knew she was no stranger. Nobody had this affect on him—but she felt different.

He couldn't be wrong. She must be his lover, she must be the light in his dark.

"Akari." His hands went up to his head, grasping it like it would float away from him. A throbbing pain shot through it and somehow, he looked at his painting. The greenery, the forest, his moments he had with Akari all in there.

He could feel the cold air of the seashore, Akari's dress moving with the breeze and dancing on her tallest tiptoes, kissing Yeonjun in the process.

He ached, holding his head and pulling his hair to aid the pain. "Akari....it's you." He whispered to himself, as if she had been right in front of him. If only she was. If only she could be there, holding him like he was a statue that could crumble at any given moment. Wrap her arms around him like she would disappear from
his memory all over again.

No, he didn't remember everything but somehow, her face was a carved image in his memory. All his favorite places—the stars, the beach, the forest—they had all been with her. She had been stargazing with him, through their telescope as Yeonjun would hold her by the waist, almost afraid to let go. Or, how he could paint her so perfectly as her feet were covered in sand from her ballet dancing. Or, her silhouette in all of his paintings from the forest, the waterfall amounting to the amount of tears he let out just that night, holding his head trying to grasp all these memories one by one.