war-ridden | 최연준

11 | love letters.

[ 💌 ]

Yeonjun knew it.

A week ago, his father had waged a war against the kingdom of Chihu. Yeonjun had a feeling it was about him, but his father kept insisting it was about the kingdom's plot to destroy Haeyong anyway.

The prince had gone to do his check at the infirmary to see if his condition allowed for fighting in the troops, as everybody had to, and he unfortunately failed. His joints were weak, enhancing his fragility. It would be more dangerous for him than anybody to fight.

His father hadn't taken the affair news well, forcing Yeonjun to stay in his bedroom. Other than that, he wasn't as angry as the boy expected—possibly because his father didn't hate Akari as much as the king of Chihu hated Yeonjun.

flashback

The line was long, wrapping around the entire hospital, as Yeonjun was the last one in the line. They were all getting a health screening to see who would fight in the war that was raged by Yeonjun's father. It made the prince upset that his father would rage a war—but honestly, it seemed like it was bound to happen at some point.

Haeyong hates Chihu. And now Yeonjun hates Akari.

Yeonjun watched as everybody around him stole a glance. He could hear them say oh my God, it's him. Or, that's the boy with the affair. It was all people would ever talk about. He just hoped time would speed up rapidly so he could go back to his bedroom.

He watched the line lessen significantly as an hour had passed by. He was the last one in the hospital.

As he walked out of the infirmary, completing and failing the screening, he heard somebody call his name.

"Yeonjun," somebody whispered as they pulled him behind the tent, out of sight.

It was none other than Akari, who shouldn't be here until the first place.

"What are you doing here?" Yeonjun sternly said, yanking his wrist away from her grip. "I don't want to speak to you." He turned his back on the girl.

Don't let me cave in for you.

"Yeonjun, please." She looked at his back hopefully. "You can't fight, Yeonjun. No matter what. I know you hate me, but my father wants to kill—"

"Don't you understand that we're done?" He turned back to her and looked at the traitor. "We should've been done ever since you walked into my life."

"Yeonjun, what I said was all fak—"

The boy continued to walk away, refusing to turn back to see the girl. He walked into the kingdom, hoping to never see her again.

end of flashback

He did what was right. At least he hoped.

He continued to sit on his bed, hearing the fighting and screams from outside. It was something that made the prince feel sick to his stomach. He couldn't stand the feeling of people getting hurt—a part of him is thankful for his fragility. Thankful that he wouldn't be the reason that people were being hurt.

Sure, the kingdoms had bad blood, but it wasn't like anybody deserved to die. Everything about this had felt so dystopian.

Upon his eyes refusing to peer away from the sight of outside he heard a knock on his door. It was a guard, as they put it under Yeonjun's door. He was on his weekly mail and letter delivery service.

"Thank you." Yeonjun uttered, walking to pick up the letter from under his door.

It was in Akari's handwriting. In his instant of anger, he almost tore the letter before even reading it. But something told him to stop and open it before anything else.

He crouched in a corner and began to open the envelope.

Dear Choi Yeonjun,

This is Akari. I know, you probably want to rip this paper immediately when you saw my name, but please, give me a chance and read this letter. This is my 18th time trying to write this letter to you. I don't know why it's been so difficult but I'm going to try.

Everything I said to you was a lie. Nobody sent me. Nobody forced this other than me. I wanted you and not an ounce of me regrets our relationship. I only faked that excuse because my father threatened to kill you if I didn't break up with you. Knowing you, I couldn't just say "let's break up" because you would've wanted to know a reason. I needed to make you resent me. I know you hate me, but just know, not a single bone in my body could ever make me hate somebody as perfect as you.

I said you're the love of my life for a reason. You are.
Nobody has ever made me feel the way you have. Nobody has ever made me feel so in love and joyous at the same time. You are my lover, nobody else can take that title. If this love had really been fabricated, would I have kept every single one of your paintings? Would I have remembered every single song you ever sung to me? Would I remember our very first waltz years ago that made me fall in love with you?

Choi Yeonjun, I know there is nothing we can do about this. I know I can't have you and I know this could've never worked out. But I couldn't have let you go without telling you the truth because you deserve to know everything.

If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be honored. I hope one day I can see you again and kiss you like time never passed.

I love you, my lover.

From, Akari.

Sobs were heard from the boy crouched in the corner. How could he, even for a second, have believed her? He knew deep in his heart that the love they shared was true. Maybe that's why it hurt so much letting her go, throwing away that promise ring. Maybe that's why he couldn't tear any of his canvases.

He still loved her, unconditionally. And he was still willing to do anything for her.