Unexpected Love

chapter 16 Gloomy all the time..

JUNE'S POV; (three months later)

I giggled as i read the steamy part. Oh gosh. It is so good. I am so happy that my board exams are completed. I just hope i pass. I really want to make it through this now. I am fighting and praying really hard for God to pass me.

Enzo- i mean jaxon and i talk very frequently which makes me happy. I hope he didn't get a girlfriend there and forget about me because i feel like I've started to grow feelings for him.

I get up and walk immediately to my bedroom but i pause when i feel i bump into the wall. I rub my head and turn to my father who has a stern yet annoyed look on his face.

"Such a stupid girl. Can't even walk properly" he snarls.

I quickly walk away from there. I can't take it. I immediately close the door and collapse on my bed. I feel my hands and fingers shaking. My chest is aching and my breathing becomes fast. I don't know what is happening to me. All i can do is overthink and feel anxious about everything. What is happening to me? Why can't anyone help me? F**k me.

I quickly close my eyes and grab the water bottle. I gulp the water and then i feel relief set in me. I sigh and place the water bottle down.

I miss my enzo. I wish he wouldn't have gone. I wish he were with me or I was with him. Or we could be somewhere, anywhere just the both of us. But can't. Am i so unlucky in love.

I hate myself for being such a stupid and lazy child. I knew i failed as a daughter, student and a person. I am seated silently waiting for darkness to consume me. I feel sleepy. I sigh and get under the sheets and close my eyes.

-----------------MORNING--------------------

I was woken up by a nightmare and after that i couldn't sleep. Wow. First an Anxiety attack and now nightmares and wow life couldn't get any better.

I made my way towards the kitchen. I make myself a cup of milk and drink it as i know my mother would never ever cook breakfast even though we wake up early.

I sit on the small couch and grab my phone. I text enzo saying a little hi and how are you. I really do miss him. Sometimes i wish i would have gone with him, taken his offer.

I don't smile nowadays like I used to smile. My dad always cusses me whenever i smile accusing me of doing something bad. I stopped smiling for ages. I miss when i used to laugh genuinely. My family not only took away my real smile, but also they lost the happy girl within me. I hate myself a lot. I can never come to love myself ever. I only smiled when i used to be with Jaxon.

I feel my eyelids get heavy and with that in my mind i doz off to sleep on the couch.

-------------------AFTERNOON---------------------

I am woken up when i feel a hit on my face with something. I scrunch my face in pain. I open my eyes and look around.

"June how come you sleep like a tug all the time. That brings misfortune for the house. You are always sleeping like you have never slept before. Why can't you just do house work?" My father snarls.

P.S he always snarls and talks to me.

"what happened now?" I ask him when I feel a plate being thrown on my face. I gasp. My mouth and nose aches so badly. I taste some metallic and i look down and touch my lips only to find it bleeding.

"I will continue to do it if you do not listen to me" he says. I look down with teary eyes and walk away to my room. I walk inside the bathroom and look in the mirror. My lips indeed are bleeding. I wash my mouth. I feel so angry yet sad. Why the heck is my life this.

I walk out and sit in my room just scrolling through my phone. I check to see any messages from jaxon but find none. My eyes soften and moisten. What happened to him now. Why isn't he texting me back. Did he also forget about me.

Freaking hell. I knew it. I knew i was not that important for him. Why did i even catch feelings when I knew that nobody would like me. He is rich so he wouldn't want to go out with me.

F**k my life.

I can never get anyone who truly loves me.
Tears form in my eyes and i am quick to run to the bathroom and cry there silently. I wish i wouldn't have been born. I only wanted someone to love me truly. I guess i don't have anyone.

I open my back cover and pull out something sharp which is always kept there. I knew what i was going to do.

----------------------EVENING------------------------

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LOVER BOY? Did he forget about you? Did you open your legs for him. Did he touch you"

"I always knew that boy was not nice"

"He just wanted to play around with her for some time. This wh*** thought he must have liked her"

"If i were you. I wouldn't have made him come to my house. Heck i wouldn't have spoken to him"

"How did you get the guts to bring home a boy. Don't you think about the care. Don't you care about your respect, leave about yours, don't you care about your parents'respect on what the outside people think"

"No you were a stubborn little b*t*h and did what you wanted"

"Look now and see who is gone, who left you. You should be happy that we are still keeping you. Other parents would have just kicked you out"

"God i don't even know why we brought forth you"

"A son should have been born but not a girl child"

"It is very tough to bring up a girl child"

"He must have laughed with her and touched her up"

"I feel dirty to even be near you let alone look at you"

"Johannah from now on tell your daughter not to talk to me. I don't want to see her face nor be near her"

This was my whole evening. I felt empty. I felt lost. I don't want to live anymore. I am not even courageous to even k*ll myself. I was gloomy all the time. I knew i had to beg God to take me away now. I had nothing left to live for.

GOOD NIGHT LOVIES
Love E