Dear Pippa

Part 6

April 7

It's been a while. I've missed you.

I've been so busy with school lately. I'm so tired at the moment, school, homework and my act are getting on top of me.

He seemed really happy today. He actually made me smile properly. It was like old times.

But, he still hasn't realised yet. I might tell him soon.

What do you think I should do?

April 23

I lost my patience.

I told him. Not everything. Just that I know that we are meant for each other.

He thinks I'm delusional.

He's the one that's delusional.

He's the one denying fate. Denying me of what is rightfully mine.

I will show him that we are meant to be. I will show him.

He will see.

He has to.

April 28

I have to tell him everything. He won't understand properly until I do.

He will see that I'm not delusional. He will see.

Do you think he will?

May 4

I will tell him tomorrow. Everything tomorrow. I can't wait anymore. I'm tired of waiting.

He needs to understand.

We will be together again, after I tell him everything.

May 5

I can't. I can't do this. I can't watch him be with someone else.

He says we are never going to be anything more than friends. I can't just be friends with him. I can't. I can't. I can't.

He doesn't love me anymore. He. Doesn't. Love. Me. Anymore.

How? How did this happen?

Did he ever really love me or was it just an illusion? Just something that I wanted to see.

Cassie will understand, as she always does. She'll survive. She deserves a better best friend than me anyway.

You are the only one who truly understands. No one else knows what you do. Maybe others will after, but it will not matter then because I will be gone.

I wonder if he will miss me. He might. If he even cares at all.

Mum and Dad will never understand, but they will live. They don't need me, to be happy. Maybe they will have another kid eventually. Mum always wanted more than two. Maybe.

You won't hear from me again. Don't worry about me. I'm too much of a coward to make it painful.

Goodbye, and thank you, for being here, even though you will be reading this long after I'm gone.