Flowers without fresh water will die. Poetry writing entries.

Im enough... when i can tell myself im enough.

mentions of religion

I tell myself that I'm enough
Even when I don't feel even remotely close to being everything.
I tell myself I'm beautiful, when I feel ugly compared to the lovely birds that can sing.

I have starved my body of the nutrients it's needed.
Because I think being pretty will determine how I'm treated.

I have scrubbed away at my skin.
Hoping that my outward appearance will change some of my deep flaws from within.

I've drawn out in sharpie, lines and dots, subtract and change.
Cried tears over the lines on my face that make me look aged.

Straighten, and oil my hair so my curls are hidden.
Because the real me isn't beautiful, when people say that natural is forbidden.

I've done diet after diet to look thinner.
Perfume to smell nice, chapstick to hydrate... yet I still can't look in the mirror.
The little girl inside the picture frame is smiling cause she's never heard of shame.

Bigger chest, bigger hips, bigger butt, small waist, small arms, small legs, but also larger thighs.
I'm never enough no matter how hard I try.

So I have to remind myself every time I look in the mirror, I'm created for a purpose.
And I'm always enough for the one who truly cares.
It doesn't matter how many pretty people, glare, because my smile is enough, and I shouldn't worry about their death stares.

I'm perfectly imperfect, and enough to those who look in the inside.
Because God created me. No matter how my mind has tried.
I'm His daughter. And when I smile and ignore my evil thoughts telling me I'm not enough... He will always take Pride.
-Ilona darling