Catch & Release | Male Reader X The Boys

The Boys

Back at the store the still disturt Hughie looks at  door opening and sees a rough looking man looking at a nanny cam.

Hughie: You interested in a nanny cam? 'Cause we're actually running a special on that. Um, it's a pretty popular bear. There's cameras in the eyes.

Man: Tell me, how many nannies shake their babies?

Hughie: Uh, I'm sorry?

Man: You know, a good hard shake, like, like tryin' to get ketchup out of a bottle. One percent? Less?

Hughie: I, I don't really know.

He then puts the nanny cam down.

Man: Funny, that. They sell a billion dollars worth of that shit worldwide. Goes to show you, doesn't it? The bollocks people will believe if you get them scared enough.

Hughie: Cool. Cool, cool. Um, is there anything I can help you with today, or... ?

Man: I'm not gonna piss you about, Hughie. I heard what happened to Robin.

Hughie: I'm, I'm sorry, who are you?

Man: She wasn't in the street. She was one step off the fucking curb. And you didn't take the pay-off.

Hughie: Yeah. I said, who the hell are you? How do you know that?

Billy: Name's Butcher. Billy Butcher.

Billy flashes an FBI badge.

Billy: Listen, I was thinking that, uh, you and me should have a little bit of a chat.

Cut to them walking on a busy sidewalk outside.

Hughie: You're a Fed? You don't sound like a Fed.

Billy: What, I can't immigrate? There's a giant green slapper with her ass in the harbor that says different.

Hughie: You don't really look like one, either.

Billy: No? What do I look like?

Hughie: Like you're starring in a porn version of The Matrix.

Billy: Well, it's all right there in black and white.

Hughie: Okay. Uh, what exactly can I do for you?

Billy: No, you got it all wrong, Hughie. It's what I can do for you. You see, you ain't alone, son. It happens a lot more than you think. Supes lose hundreds of people each year to collateral damage.

Hughie: No. Come on, that'd be all over the news. People would be screaming bloody murder.

Billy: Yeah, look, there might be the odd mention of it now and again, like with Robin, but there's a fuck-sight more that happens that just gets swept right under the rug.

They stop walking.

Hughie: Why?

As Billy continues, he gestures around at dozens of ads for various superhero properties.

Billy: Ain't it obvious? Movie tickets, merchandising, theme parks, video games. A multi-billion dollar global industry supported by corporate lobbyists and politicians on both sides. But the main reason that you won't hear about it is 'cause the public don't want to know about it. See, people love that cozy feeling that Supes give them. Some golden cunt to swoop out of the sky and save the day so you don't gotta do it yourself. But if you knew half the shit they get up to... Ooh. Fuckin' diabolical. But then, that's where I come in.

Hughie: Come in to to do what?

Billy: Spank the bastards when they get out of line.

Hughie: How do you spank a Supe?