I Wish- FEMALE READER X NATASHA ROMANOFF- MCU Black Widow

Chapter XXI

okay 1. decided to make this a happy chapter bc i feel like everything else is so heavy cuz of the whole love of our life forgetting us :( so heres a fun one 

2. this isnt rly relevant to the plot so if u just wanna skip it thats fine :) 

3. i am super bad at writing happy stuff which says a lot ab me as a person so just a warning :)

4. im realizing now that this turned into a sad chapter. i sincerely apologize. i did say i was bad at writing happy stuff

5. not proofread! :)

5 weeks later

Ever since that night, I've made it my personal mission to avoid everyone except the people who actually know about my past, for my own good. 

It hasn't been extremely difficult. Most of them choose to stay out of my way, either out of repulsion or fear, I can't tell. I'm not complaining, anyway. 

It's been the same routine every day for the past few weeks. Wake up in the early morning to whatever nightmare my brain had decided to conjure up, sit on the floor for a couple hours, then go with Wanda to the training room for a few hours. After that, have a snack, look around the compound (only on the permitted floors, of course), eavesdrop on some people for some information, then try to hide in my room until someone either makes me eat something (Wanda) or Clint finally lets me into the training room again. 

It's not horrible, but it's definitely not something I'm used to. The sitting around makes me feel anxious. I can hear Madame B calling me lazy. I can feel Dreykov's disappointed stare burning into my skin. 

I haven't been on a mission yet, either, which makes me feel completely useless. The one thing I was trained to do my entire life has gone to waste. I'm just a body, floating around, doing nothing. 

I've spent most of the day in my room, but at some point I decided that I would rather face Natasha than spend one more second pacing the floor. 

I grab some fruit from the fridge when I get down there, even though it feels wrong. Wanda assured me that I can eat whatever's in the compound, but it feels like I'm invading their space, somehow. 

I doubt Clint would want to train now, and I would rather die than ask Natasha, so instead I opt to sit on the couch in the common room. 

I eat my apple in peace, while staring out the windows, admiring the view of the city. I've been to New York, obviously, but I've only stayed in 3 star hotels that the Red Room chose for me. They weren't a million feet up in the air. 

I can see Wanda moving towards me out of the corner of my eye, but I choose to ignore her. 

Wanda has pretty much been the only nice person to me ever, besides Natalia. Wanda makes sure that I'm not working too hard, talks to me like an actual person, and doesn't overstep any boundaries. We've both been through our own shit, and while there's only one person in the world who actually understands what my entire life is like, Wanda at least gets the trauma that comes with that kind of past. 

"Y/N," she says, plopping down next to me, a respectable distance away. 

"Hmm?" I hum, taking another bite of the apple. 

"How would you feel about going shopping?" she asks. 

"What?" I say in surprise. 

"Well, you've been wearing my old t-shirts for the past month, and not to be rude, but I would appreciate it if you'd stop stealing my stuff. We could go out on a shopping spree, get some lunch, and do other fun stuff!" she finishes, smiling.