My Lady....(Freenbecky)

34.

" I don't know you might not be a good person. But telling you my feelings feels really good. What about that lover?" Asked becky turning back to freen who was still looking at her.

" I..." Freen was stunned when becky suddenly looked at freen.

" She is not with me anymore.." freen said lowering her face.

" I am so sorry...! I didn't.-" freen cut becky's talk and said, " she is not dead. She is just not with me anymore."

Becky sat down with a book she picked up from the white wooden shelf in freen's mostly dark room. She sat down in a bright corner and asked freen," do you remember her laugh?"

"Humm" freen nodded.

" You are so lucky. You atleast know your lover..,have you met her.?"

" Of course I did! But do you think that's a blessing?" Asked freen sitting down on a sofe infront of Becky.

" Humm... I don't know but I think it's somehow a advantage. Whenever you miss her you can just look at one of her photos and remember her. I am pretty sure that this is not the first painting of her that you are doing."

That was true since becky left. Although it wasn't a long time but freen already changed the colour of the walls to match the royal honour it rediated before. Also drew over ten portraits of becky. All of them were hidden from nam's eyes and now becky's eyes too.

Freen just listened to becky complaint to her about something she did. She thought it would be less painful for becky if Becky didn't remembered her face or have any memories of her. But it rather worked in opposite direction. Becky was more restless now to find out her mystery lover.

"...... I can put anyone's face on her body and imagine her with me. I can do anything I want with her she is on my tarm. " Becky continued.

" What did you imagined with her?" Asked freen because she was also very curious to know what imaginations ran across becky's mind about her.

" Ummm ..... I imagined us going on a date.."

" Date? What is that?"

" When you go out with some one. Go to a cafe or movie theatre and then eat in a restaurant." Becky said.

" And what did you imagined of doing with her?" Asked freen growing even more curious.

" I already dreamt of the whole day when we meet in real life. I will bring her a red rose and chocolate. That's how our date will start. Then we can go for a walk along mekong river. Then after we will watch the sunset together. Sitting side by side I will lean on her shoulder. She'll be looking at me smiling. I would be shy and I would bury my face in her chest. She would tighten her hug around me. (Sigh!) Then we could drink a cup of milke tea while the sun takes a cover behind the horizon. When the sun is fully emerged we would go to a restaurant to eat. Then watch stars together." Becky closed her eyes. One teardrop fell cheating her eyes.

" She must be lucky having that. Sounds romantic." Said freen. Now she couldn't help but smile at the cuteness of her lover.

" Humm... I read a lot of romantic novels . So I have a lot of knowledge on how to make a date romantic."

" You don't even know her. Not her
name or how she looks like. Nothing. How are you so in love with her?"

" I don't know. She touched a part of my heart that was left untouched for years. I feel a connection I never felt. She is mine I can feel it. It doesn't feel like I never got her. It feels like I had her but somehow lost her. But this time if I ever got a hold on her I won't let her go.. I will tie a rope around her wrist and the other end to my neck. So if she leaves she can take my life with her too. Because without her it feels like my breath is stuck in my throat...." Said becky. Her eyes started to get teary.

" She might just be a dream.How can you love her so much when she  is formless?" Freen was getting teary too. But she tried hard to hold back her tears. Instead she turned around facing her back to becky.

" She is not formless. In my dreams she has a form. She might be my dream. But she is a sweetdream." Becky said with a smile.

" How can she be a sweet dream all she did was to hurt you?"

" Who said that? I might look sad talking about her. But whenever I remember her I feel a hope, a joy. That one day she will stand in front of me stepping out of my dream. That is giving me hope. I was curious at first about her existence. But now I am happy I don't know her. Because If I knew her and she came in front of me I would've killed her for leaving me."

" She might not be good for you. That is  why she left." Said freen trying to justify her actions.

" I was kidnapped. And whatever happened happened in that 10 days. I know she touched me. Scars given by her is still on my body. But who gave her the right to decide what's good for me? I already have my parents and brother. All I wanted was someone who can be by my side when needed. Not another gurdian who decides everything for me without asking me what I like. She never asked what I wanted. Instead she left me. I was thinking I was having dreams of her. But my scars says otherwise." Said becky with a slightly irritated voice.

" She might be the one who kidnapped you and took advantage of you.. so you should stay away. She might've dragged you while you were in captivity. Now your sub conscious mind is telling you to go and report your kidnapper to the police." Freen said finally wiping her tears then turning back.

" Huh! For Someone who doesn't know about date, subconscious and police are very broad words." Becky said laughing.

" I think it's for your good. Stay away from her and stay in your safe zone the town. This forest in not for you." Said freen crossing her arms.

" Huh! Why would I do that? I will leave the forest but not her search. I will become a famous lawyer. And then when I have had a lot of connections I'll find her too. Even if I have to go to my dreamland. And If being with her means being dragged I will happily take it. I was happy before her when I didn't knew what I was missing. Now I know what I am missing. So I can't go back to being the old me. Looking at the scars given by her makes me feel me again. Everytime I cares the wound I feel her touch. Not pain but satisfaction. I think she is already dissolved in my blood stream. That's why I came all the way up here to look for her. But...-"

" But instead you found us. Sorry to disappoint you."

" No! It's just so good talking to you. I feel so clear now. May be I can finally get over my daydream and go back to my day to day life. Thanks for doing that." Becky smiled and shook freen's hands. As she touched freen's hands, freen's cold pale hands gave becky a current shock. Her whole body flew back some seconds in time. She had a brief display of the moments she spent with freen. Now she knew that her dream had a face. She can finally put a face on the formless entry. And it's freen.

Becky was still holding the book she picked earlier.

" I used to own a book just like this. I used to write out my signature on every front page of those books." Becky said going through the pages.

" Used to?"

" Hey! This is my book. Here! I wrote my name here on the front page." Becky said.

Freen's eyes opened wider in disbelief.

" P'freen!"