The Evil's Paradise

A-101562

Chapter 4: A-101562

     The first real memory I have is from Program Day. I remember the screams of agony from the children around me and the glowing red, evil eye of the machine. I was trapped, a heavy, cold helmet strapped to my skull. I squirmed and screamed, but my voice just got lost in the sea of wailing cries from the other boys and girls. I can never forget their eyes. Those of blue, hazel, brown, and green all having the same terrified look, their pupils smaller than a grain of rice and all silently crying for help. Each one bellowed from deep in their heaving chests and then all went silent.
     I remember the smell of coppery metal like it was yesterday. As they writhed in the clunky silver chair, burgundy liquid seeped out from their helmets. Tears filled my eyes, I didn't know what was happening. One minute I was playing, the next we were in a world of pain and fear. I remember the hot feeling, blurred vision, and the pain I felt from the friction of the leather straps clutching my wrists.
    I don't know why but my helmet didn't saw through my skull like the others did. I guess it was defective, much like me. I was born with one leg and three fused fingers (pinky, ring, and middle) on my right hand, as well as not having a left eye altogether. I was different and everyone knew. We never had mothers or fathers but we had each other and no one wanted to touch me. We were only four, but the other kids still knew I was different and as such should be avoided at all costs. I was the plague. A plague. I knew from the first time a peer looked at me with fear and disgust I was ugly and contagious. I retreated to being unwanted and deformed until the day our world turned upside down. I watched everyone I knew that day, fall quiet and submit to The Evil.
     I quickly learned after Program day that being different was bad. I was defective but still able to play their game so they kept me alive to work until my body gives. I was selected to be in the working class. Ever since, I have been in the routine and haven't been seen by the machines as a weak link yet. The Program gives me orders through the helmet telepathically and I survive by listening and doing what each command tells me. I may be bad at hand-eye coordination and walking, but I'm not bad at listening.
    My reoccurring dream I have every night while the others are asleep in their docks is that: one of these days I'm going to figure out how to escape this nightmare and get rid of the Program all together. People will finally love me because I saved the human race.
    Yes, loved. I want to be loved so bad, but I'm too ugly. Even machines know I'm ugly. How bad do you have to appear for a machine to look the other direction when you carry a rock by them?! Yes, to be loved is what I want most in this world apart from being free from this existence.
    I imagine the stars are shining brightly tonight. I have to imagine what a star looks like, our world is full of smog and pollution after all.
    I heard about the "life before" from the machines. I'm defective but not hard of hearing. I heard that stars used to look like millions of tiny holes poked into a black blanket. This description of stars excited me for some reason. I marched by these androids in my line, but what I left with after hearing that conversation, is a hunger. A hunger to learn about things, old things. Things before me and Kinklesburg City.
   So, tonight I look at the stars through my brain's eye. All the tiny holes poked in the black sky. I imagine the way a clean smell of earth fills my bruised lungs. I imagine while the whirring of commanding helmets tie our broken bodies down to the Program. I imagine while I am the only one awake, awake to the world around me. I imagine while being alone and I imagine while I am the only one being able to imagine. Yes, these invisible stars I imagine bring me hope and joy in this desolate world. My eyes flutter while my consciousness slips away, but in my brain I am flying to those stars. Flying up and away from Kinklesburg City and Earth to another world where dreams come true and machines have never existed. My dreams are my only sanctuary and the stars are my only hope.