My love fantasy roommate

Chapter : 3 - Confession (PART-2)

I came back to my house ,made my way to the living room and plopped my self and my bag right on the couch. Kevin went upstairs right into his room talking to someone in his phone. I was so exhausted after a long day ...but it's gonna be fine after this day, summer break tomorrow I can't wait. I was too lazy to get up from my cozy couch to go to my room . I just decided to have a little nap here. I adjusted my self on the couch comfortably and I just closed my eyes and just drifted to sleep right away...

"Daddy?...,where are you?" I said smiling with my two broken immature incisor teeth looking around holding my teddy searching for my dad in the backyard. Kevin went for his football game, as dad and I were playing hide and seek. I was searching every ounce corner in the backyard including the tiny rocks scattered around the grass. Did not find him any where. I decided to go inside the house and search for him . I went to my parents room, having the thought of him hiding under the bed.
"Dad if I caught you Mr. Huggy is gonna attack you ...." I said pointing out my teddy bear holding it above my head smiling in full excitement . Suddenly I heard a loud  shot in the main front door and it increased again with a dog yelp....it's from my dog Pluto. I flinched with sudden sound ....Mom went running towards the sound and heard her loud cry . I too went down towards the door to see what's going on. I saw mom on her knees hands on her face crying ." Mom...what happened?" I called her out . She turned her self towards me , eyes full with tears and......Blood ...on her face , hands,clothes. I glanced at the red liquid pouring with no limits ....don't know where is coming from as mom was in the way . I peaked at two lifeless beings in front of our door porch lying on the ground holes in their body .
I-I can't breathe . No- n-it can't be happening. My vision is turning black ..but more darker. That face...that body...Blood ...everywhere, on me too ,like mommy ...n-n-no ...It's not true....My dog Pluto and ...and...Da—

"*gasp*...Dad!" I yelled waking up breathing heavy. It took me few minutes to calm my self down as I looked around and I am in my couch the living room was quiet . I touched my forehead as I was sweating like hell . "What's the time ? "I looked searching for my phone which has fell down on the couch. I grabbed it and saw...it's 4:45 pm. Was this a dream? It felt so real....This never gets old enough already. Why is this dream always haunt me? I cant even have a normal sleep for goodness sake.
I got down from the couch and made my way towards upstairs to fresh myself up and continue my nap after a horrible dream I had gone through . The stairs were so big I have to skip two stairs ahead. I made myself up walking around the hallway to go to my room. As I was passing by mom's room, I gave a peak on what's she doing. She was talking while packing her stuff for her trip. I have never seen mom so restless before. She used to spend quality time for us when dad was alive, she had her whole new world of me and Kevin when dad goes for work. There was no any single day to end without having any fun with her. After dad was dead, she started to take our responsibility in her own hands, making sure we were not affected by the horrible scenes after the incident. She did her best in providing everything a child needed, new clothes, financially being supportive, food...everything . I could feel her acting like  she is fine ,happy nothing made her affected her after that incident. But I can see the real her , she is trying her best to forget and accept her fate and move on ......but in reality I hear her cry every time when she is alone as I pass by her room. I know mom ......I know what it feels like loosing your life ,  same as me loosing a dad...your husband. Mom and dad were like a made for each other, they used to not leave each other's site . Mom dad me and Kevin. A happy family... an ideal family . And  I don't think that implies now...

"Mom?..." I knocked lightly on her room door standing in her doorstep. She looked at me and smiled signaling me to come in . I came in and sat on her bed. I looked around her room . The polished furnitures of gray and a work table with all our pictures hung in her walls . I noticed beside the bed , her lamp stand as light of the lamp flashing  making a spotlight of two photo frames, the one with me and Kevin in it and second mom and dad smiling with full love. I smiled at the photo ...but I did not dare to take it and recall myself and then cry about it later. Let it just be...there.

"Ah...sure....ok .....I will let you know " with that she ended her call and looked at me . "Yes darling.....what brings you here." She said with a pleasant smile as she sat beside me .
"Nothing...just happened to pass by seeing what you're doing." I said shrugged my shoulders.
"Well...almost done with the packing and got to gather some paperwork after sometime ." She said sighed in exhaustion , while I just hummed in response. We stayed in awkward silent for a bit , why can't I have a proper conversation with my mom? . It's not like we're strangers or something . We just have a small talk and just finish it . I don't know what happened to our mother and daughter bonding , is we why we are distancing without us knowing? After few minutes of awkward silence mom spoke " Is something bothering you Calastia?" She said placing her hand over my hand squeezing gently. I looked at her looking at me concerned and full love. I just missed seeing her this close after a long isolation between ourselves ...even though we are in the same house.
" I am fine mom...but ." I said looking down at the well polished marble floor of my face reflecting on it . "But what?"  Mom questioned in concern.
"C-can I come with you ...to your work trip please?" I said finally confessing my feelings. Right I can't imagine myself staying alone. After the horrible nightmare I had been through now I changed my mind and came through my conclusion. First I can't continue to go through my haunting dreams of dad so long. Secondly I cant think more than anything else than dad's dead scenes specially when I am alone. And finally I want me and mom time together no matter how busy she is ....i don't care about my comfort zone now . All I care is that makes me forget my trauma at least to some extent. Mom was genuinely surprised by my request but managed to ask again. "Why with the sudden change...?"
"I just changed my mind...?" I lied . Of course I am not going to say my mom like " hey mom I want to come with you because dad's dead dreams is haunting me every time ,so in order to forget it your the only way I can relax myself escaping from that dilemma for a while."  She will think I am crazy forgetting the fact that it's true.
"But why though?" She said." I don't know....i don't wanna spend the whole time alone here." I said .
"Calastia....dear ...if you're feeling like that , why can't you go on a summer camp with your brother in the first place."
"I know mom ....but I don't wanna go with them . Well it's not like I don't like to go but , I want some quality time for myself not alone but with you . It's too hard to stay here alone at home specially when no one's around. I just wanna spend quality time with you ." I sighed for a while and continued." The reason why I refused to go to the summer camp, is to spend time with you. I felt like we are distancing ourselves without us knowing. Even we are here together we are not emotionally attached to each other. I am just trying to fix things up ....for us ." I said as mom . She  hugged me. I felt like to tearing up but I stayed myself back from not doing so , not to make mom weak already is but acts to stay tough.

"Oh..honey I did not know you're thinking these things. I didn't know that you are feeling this way to this limit. You don't have to reason up just to get along with me , I am always with you and ready to spend time with you. The reason of our distancing is my work in our way . I have the responsibility to take care of you and your brother to see you guys happy. You don't have to sacrifice your happiness just to fix things up like that. " she lifted my chin at her level as I made contact with her ."You are my daughter and there is nothing coming between us . We are emotionally and physically together, you're thinking too much because I am not spending time with you. And when it comes to you taking with me, i would love to but I would be busy in my work , and would not have time for that." She explained as I stayed silent. She spoke again.
"Hey...take some time and relax your self , no one will be disturbing you. The reason Kevin is bringing up his friend is just there for your safety. He isn't gonna bother you . So don't think much. If you do need anything call me ....ok?" She said as I nodded. Mom smiled as she planted a kiss on my forehead until she received a call. She excused me but I did not want to disturb her again so I left her room.....
Mom is truly the best.....