At Least Pizza Will Never Hurt Me

A Momentous Moment in her Fabulous Career

"I really can't thank you enough for all your help. If you ever need anything in return just give me a call."

The young New Yorker smiled and folded her hands together in a business manner, "I'm glad I could help, but I do try to not stay in contact with clients after our work is finished for secrecy reasons, of course."

"I know, I know, but if you need anything, call me, I owe you a lot."

She chuckled half-heartedly, wanting to be rid of company so she could breathe for the first time in weeks, "Yes, well, you've already paid me five hundred dollars."

The persistent client finally gave up and gave a final smile with a goodbye nod and wave. Her Prada heels could be heard clicking down the hall where she stepped into the elevator and left the building, but more importantly, she was out of Penelope's hair for good.

Once the elevator returned back to her hall empty and she was positive nobody would be coming for at least another week or two, Penelope began her stay-at-home vacation. She had stocked up on a week's worth of junk food and had already made her itinerary for the week.

The itinerary included:

Monday- All day Lord of the Rings marathon whilst eating whatever junky snack food pleased her

Tuesday- 1 man dance party then watch Crimes of the Heart and enjoy the melodrama, also any other movie that sounded particularly tolerable

Wednesday- Cooking spree throughout the morning, trying new recipes and such, as the tv in the kitchen played all of her favorite Disney movies because she was an adult, then order pizza for dinner (and consume the entire pizza for herself)

And so on, the idea was pretty plain. She wasn't planning on leaving the house anytime this week or doing anything else as uncomfortable as such. Or so she planned. Of course, things don't always go as planned. She realized that as soon as she had changed into every article of clothing that had the word 'sweat' in the title and heard the buzzer ring to her building.

"What the hell," she angrily muttered at the inconvenience.

She pushed the button and spoke into the speaker, "This better not be a client, Alex."

The boy mumbled anxiously, "I'm sorry I thought I scheduled them for next week, I-"

She felt her face getting red, "Excuse me, them?"

He stammered, "Y-yes three clients they-"

"Three? At a time?"

"I'm sorry I fu-"

"Yeah you fucked up, on a fuckery scale of 1-10 this is like an eleven!"

His voice monotone he replied, "Damn. Rude."

She sighed and composed herself, "I swear to god Alex. Send them up."

"They're on their way. You know, this is the first time I screwed up, it's not easy being your secretary and your doorman, you know."

"Please, stop whining, it doesn't suit you. Besides, all you have to do is send people up and make a schedule and occasionally talk to people, it's not like you're working for the president."

"Well I have to deal with your bitchy ass every day, I deserve a raise for that."

"Haha, you're hilarious, you know I really enjoy these little talks we have."

"Anytime, sweetheart."

A knock on her door stopped her from giving her secretary/doorman a good "fuck you buddy" and instead she whispered, "You're lucky I'm not dropping your pay."