Hidden Memories and Unspoken Desires

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Soon I made it home. Ambrose stopped carrying me once we got to my front door. So many people were looking at us, I didn’t like it. But I did like being carried by him. I don’t know why, but I did. Why did I like it when he was carrying me?

I have no idea what I’m thinking or what I was thinking. Do I like him? No, I can’t. He’s my best friend. I can’t like my best friend. That’s jut not right. I can’t like my best friend. Right? No one can like their best friends. Even if they get together it never lasts or it’s not the best relationship to be in. What are we supposed to do if we break up? We would still want to be friends but how could we do that when he just broke it off?

What am I thinking? Why am I thinking about being with him in the first place? Why would I even think of that? He’s my best friend. It’s not like that would ever happen. Why would I even think there’s a chance something will happened between us?

I need to talk to someone about this feeling and I can’t talk to Ambrose or Archie about it. So, I’m going to talk to Jessica about it. She’ll listen to me and give me some pointers about it. I need to call her and ask if she’s busy first. I don’t want to call her when she’s busy or has something more important to do.

Once I knew she wasn’t busy I called her and waited for her to pick up, “Can we talk?” I asked once she answered the phone.

“Yeah, what are we talking about?” Jessica asked as I stood up getting my stuff.

“I’ll come over and talk to you there.” I spoke as I got my shoes on and started to walk to Jessica’s house.

“I’ll see you when you get here.” Jessica spoke as she hung up leaving me walking around looking for her house. Soon I made it to her place and knocked on the door. I waited for her to answer the door.

Once she opened the door I walked in. I need to talk to her now. I have to get this off of my chest. She’s the only person I could tell about this. I can’t tell anyone else without Ambrose finding out. I sat on her couch and waited for her to sit down.

She already had some wine out and two cups ready to be filled. I guess she knows it’s one of these talks. I sighed as I filled up one of the cups with the wine. I then took a sip as Jessica sat down and poured her some wine.

“So, what did you come here to tell me about?” Jessica asked as she took a sip of her wine and looked at me.

“Well, I was hanging out with Ambrose.” I started as I moved my fingers around the bottom of the cup, “We were at this place we used to go to a lot as a kid. Well, after we left, I didn’t want to walk back home the whole way. So, Ambrose picked me up and walked me home.”

“That’s nice of him.” Jessica started, “But that’s not what this is about is it?” She asked as she drank more of her wine.

“No, it’s not.” I spoke as I took a sip of my drink, “I liked it when he picked me up. My heart as going a hundred miles per hour. I also felt sad when he put me down. I wanted him to pick me up again.” I spoke as Jessica looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Well,” I went on, “I don’t know why I felt like that, and I have no idea who to talk to. I don’t know what to do. Do I tell Ambrose? What do I do?” I asked as I looked at Jessica then took a sup of my wine.

“It seems like you love him.” Jessica put her cup down, “But it seems like you don’t want to believe it. You’re always around him and you always want to be around him. I think you’re madly in love with him.”

“But he’s my best friend.” I started, “There’s no way he would agree to date me. Even if he does, what happens when we break up? We can’t just be friends or anything because we already were.” I spoke as I put my cup down and looked at Jessica.

“We all know he’s crazy about you.” Jessica smiled, “He’s always talking about you and the way he looks at you.”

“How does he look at me?” I asked as I looked at my cup then back at Jessica.

“He looks at you like you’re his only source of water in a desert. He looks at you like you’re his only source of light. Like you’re his only reason for living.” Jessica spoke as she picked up her cup, “He’s madly in love with you. So much that he can’t stand it. He’ll show it some time or another.”  

“You really think that?” I asked as I looked at her, “You really think he’s in love with me?” I asked as Jessica took a sip of her wine.

“Everyone can see it, why can’t you?” Jessica put her cup down once more, “You don’t want to believe it. Do you?”

“I guess not.” I spoke as I took a sip of my wine, “What do I do?”

“Tell him.” Jessica spoke, “Tell him how you feel, and he’ll tell you how he feels.”

“But what do I do if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“I doubt that will happen; but if it does then call me and we’ll have a girls day.”

“Alright, I’ll tell him.” I spoke as I looked around, “But not yet. I’ll tell him after tomorrow. I don’t want to be feeling sad all day if he doesn’t like me back.”

“What’s going on tomorrow?” Jessica asked as she poured her some more wine.

“I have that book thing at the school.” I spoke as I put my cup down, “Thinking of that, I better get going. I need to make sure everything is ready.” I stood up along with Jessica, “Thank you for letting me come over.” I spoke as Jessica hugged me.

“Anytime.” Jessica smiled and led me to her door, “I’ll talk to you later. Tell me how it goes with Ambrose.”

“I will.” I spoke as I started to walk home. Once I made it home, I made sure I had everything I needed and got ready for bed. Once I was ready, I made sure my door was locked and all my lights were off. Then I laid in my bed and fell asleep. I have a long day tomorrow so, I wanted to get a lot of sleep.