The lightest sun

Chapter 8

Jane
A strange life comes with strange feelings.

The day has come.
Cole stood in the dimly lit hallway, his gym bag slung over one shoulder and his hockey stick in the other hand. The quiet of home in the early (too early) morning was comforting and familiar, but tinged with the slight anxiety that always arises before a trip.
He looked back into the living room, where I was curled up on the couch, wrapped in a thick blanket, my eyes barely open. I tried to stay awake, trying to prolong this moment.
What the fuck am I talking about?
It's all lack of sleep.
At least please believe me, because I don't even believe myself.

"Hey." He said quietly, breaking the silence.
I had to look up for my eyes to meet his. I frowned. "Hi."
Cole put down his bag and walked over to me, who was sitting on the edge of the sofa. He brushed a strand of hair from her face, his fingers lingering on her cheek. "You know, you didn't have to get up."

I hit him on the hand.
"Don't touch." I answered, my voice heavy with sleep and something else, something deeper. "Besides, I couldn't sleep while you were rustling around with your things."
Even at five in the morning, Cole gave me a grin. It was like it was part of his ritual to piss me off. He leaned in, causing me to move away.

"I'll only be gone for a few days."
"I know, it's a pity that you'll come back so quickly." I said, my fingers tracing patterns on the blanket. "But you better come back to pay me my salary."
He sighed, as if wanting to stay.
But as for me, the call of the game, the excitement of competition, he could not simply ignore.
Never.

"I'll miss your sullen personality." He promised, his voice whispering in my ear as he leaned in.
"I hope you won't." I answered, completely freeing myself from his smell, getting up. "But text me when you land.

"Certainly." He said, continuing to look straight into my face from bottom to top. It was as if he was studying my face, memorizing it - the way my eyes sparkled even in the dim light, the curve of my lips, the way my hair framed my face. Did he really want to remember every detail?

"I hope you don't get into trouble like you did at that game." I reached out and cupped his face in my hands. "And be safe there, okay? And score a goal for Amy. She really wanted it." Cole chuckled, a low and gentle sound. "I'll try. But no promises." We stayed like that for a while, just holding each other, not wanting to break the spell. The same ones that made me still touch him and him hold me. But eventually the clock on the wall reminded us that time was ticking and Cole needed to leave if he was going to fly away.

"I have to go," he said reluctantly, standing up and grabbing his bag.
I also stood up, wrapping myself more tightly in the blanket. I walked him to the door, our steps were slow and deliberate. At the threshold, Cole turned to me one last time, his eyes filled with emotion.

"So I need to go." He said, the words are simple, but so...strange because they make me feel that way.
"Yeah." I replied, my voice firm despite the hurricane of emotions inside me.
He leaned over but I turned away again.
Wait a minute though...we can be friends, right?
Right?
Exactly.
I gave him a brave smile and threw it away.
"Good luck." I said and, not sure, kissed him on the cheek.

For several seconds he simply stood motionless.
Still, the well-known Cole grinned, a flash of his usual confidence returning. "I don't need luck, but what if it's from you? Then for the first time I will begin to believe in luck."

With one last look, he turned and walked out the door to let the cold morning air hit him. I quietly closed the door, the last sign of our farewell.
I hugged the blanket even tighter and returned to the couch, hoping to fall asleep before I had to get Amy ready for kindergarten.
But in the end, me and my cockroaches in my head were simply tossing and turning from one side to the other.