The lightest sun

Chapter 21

                                         Jane 
              "Hold yourself together. You're strong."

I was lying sprawled across my bed, my phone propped up against a stack of pillows, with the faces of my friend and sister filling the screen. They were a little pixelated but so familiar. I took a deep breath, finally allowing myself to relax for the first time that day. First, I had to shake off Cole. The Rangers made it to the finals, playoffs were nearing an end, and he didn't want to let me go this morning. In fact, since he first carried me to his room, I had been sleeping next to him every night.

We kissed, cuddled, talked a lot, and sometimes... well, almost every night, he drove me to the edge with his skill, showing me heaven. But we hadn't crossed the line. He hadn't brought up sex or even hinted that I could return the favor. Maybe since that night, his only goal was for me to feel good.

Sometimes when he came home late, he'd hug me immediately, and I couldn't help but smile. It felt so natural that I didn't want to think about what the future might hold.

Then I played with Amy and just took her to Mrs. Thompson's. My daughter ran up to her smiling, and I was left trying to figure out what was happening. Really, I kept trying to figure it all out, but no clear thoughts came. Yet, I started liking this feeling. And that's why I finally joined our Saturday conversation now.

The usual crew — Bailey and Ava — were already laughing about something, their voices stretching through the screen, surrounding me with warmth.

"Jane! There she is!" Ava exclaimed, waving broadly at the screen. "I thought you'd left us already!"

"Yeah, I was just about to send a search party," Bailey added with a grin, her messy bun swaying as she leaned into the camera.

I laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Sorry, sorry. Mom duties, as usual."

"Excuses," Ava teased, crossing her arms. "How are you? You look tired."

I shrugged, looking down. "Long day, I guess." Yeah, especially when your ex's wedding is today.

Ava raised an eyebrow. "Is this about sketching for the new project, or..."

"Or is Cole keeping you up at night?" Bailey snickered as Ava squeezed her eyes shut.

I felt my cheeks flush slightly. They knew me too well. "Maybe..." Alex had called me a few days ago and said that once my sketches were ready, his friend's company would... consider them. But they were right. Last night, Cole had me seeing stars three times. He was like a ravenous beast, and I was a poor little rabbit. Or rather, a certain part of me was.

"Oh, so this is about Cole?" Bailey leaned in, her eyes gleaming with interest. "Come on, tell us. We need updates!"

I laughed, hesitating. I could always count on them to dive into my personal life, especially when I wasn't ready to talk about it. That's why I told Ava that something was happening between me and her brother. Part of me wanted to share, to let them help me sort through the emotions I was holding inside.

"Well," I started slowly, feeling the words get easier as I spoke, "we're still at a standstill. It's just... complicated. I like him, don't get me wrong, but I'm unsure of where we stand. I feel like I might have scared him off, and now there's nothing more."

"So, you're saying you're ready?" Bailey asked, surprised.

"I don't know... but couldn't he talk to me?"

Ava sighed sympathetically. "Why are guys always so clueless?"

"Or stubborn," my sister added, nodding. "If he only knew how amazing you are, Jane. He'd be crazy not to respond. Just let him know, and Cole will be at your feet like a puppy."