The lightest sun

Chapter 1

Jane
Bad day or bad life?

When Bailey took Amy for the day, I was over the moon.
And I'm serious.
I love my daughter more than life itself, but there are always moments when I want to be alone - in silence.
Especially when you are a young single mother.
But unfortunately fate has shown me the middle finger again.
Not even that.
Three middle fingers at once.
As a result, I spent half a day tormented by ideas of how to pay rent for an apartment this month, then for another three hours I tried to dissuade my best friend from the idea of going to hockey together.
I don't know if you understood, but I couldn't do it at all.
But that's not the worst thing, like my most uninvited guest.
My mother.
"Stop washing the dishes and let's talk." A stern tone sounded behind me.
The battle for survival has begun.
With a sigh, I put the plate down and turn off the water.
When my back hit the tabletop, my eyes were immediately drawn to my mother.
The woman who was my idol.
Who would think otherwise in my place?
Always well-groomed, perfect, like a painted portrait of a brunette with forest green eyes.
And her name would be Daisy Sherington. 
But even the best works can rot inside.
Even despite our similar appearance, the only thing that connected us was DNA.
"Where is my granddaughter? At Bailey's again?"
I crossed my arms over my chest defensively.
"Amy wanted to spend time with her and Connor, Mom."
She clicked her tongue.
"Your sister doesn't have to babysit your baby just because you can't cope."
I may have just rolled my eyes.
Inhale. Exhale.
"You know she's getting married soon."
"I don't force anyone. I give a choice to both my sister and my daughter." The number of times I say this phrase, I rub the bridge of my nose out of fatigue. "Just tell me, do you have any other complaints against me? Besides the already standard ones?"
To the sound of my mothers' red nails hitting the table, I sit down opposite her.
The report has begun.
"Money isn't enough anymore, is it?" Knock. Knock. Knock. "According to my calculations, your grandfather's money has already run out."
And now my end has come.
I know my mother too well to know that she's not bluffing.
I even have a suspicion that she began to use her diploma in economics immediately after she deprived me of my family's money.
But I'm not ready to admit my situation.
Not in front of her.
"What does this have to do with you?"
But really - what?
Parents can intervene in the child's life when they are responsible for them.
But I'm twenty-fucking-two years old.
In general, I am already a mother myself.
It's not that many people think that this is a reason to be proud, for example, as the woman from whom I emerged, but...
I'm damn proud.
Because I'm a good mom.
At least I'll always be by Amy's side.
But my mother disowned me 3 years ago.
While I had to survive to provide for the life of my child.
But unfortunately, the money is already running out and I have the same number of job offers as a week ago.
Lonely zero.
"I'm worried about my granddaughter."
And now the last drop of patience has evaporated.
She is worrying?
Then where were you when we needed your support?
Damn selfish.
With all my might, my palms hit the table, giving me balance to stand up.
This made her flinch, but this woman knows how not to show it.
"Just go away." Under my gaze, she slowly rose from the chair, rolling her eyes.
And I just walked around the table in silence and looked out the window, but still scanning my mother with one eye.
"You will still come to us to ask for a place to live." She exhaled and picked up her Louis Vuitton bag. "Don't forget about the family dinner with the Cannings in a month."
I will never forget - I love Bailey.
But I will also never take her outstretched helping hand.
Because it's like a trap.
You give her your finger but she will bite your whole hand off.
Perhaps Daisy muttered something else about my younger sister's wedding, but I continued to stand at the window, watching the father walk with his daughter.
From this sight and the slam of the door, my body shuddered and was covered in goosebumps.
It is so painful to understand that no matter how hard you try, mom is not able to give what dad could.
I began to notice how Amy's eyes watered when she saw how dads could love their children.
Sometimes I feel like she thinks she wasn't good enough to be loved.
Perhaps I can understand this because I was like that myself.
Only my father did not leave my mother pregnant; he died when I was 6 months old in a plane crash.
But does it matter?
I also didn't feel male love - even when my stepfather appeared in our house.
But I don't want Amy to think that she needs to improve like I did.
Because she is already the most beautiful angel.
But does she understand this herself?
My phone buzzes in the living room.
Quickly brushing away my tears and crossing the room, I answer the call.
"How is our hot mommy doing?" Ava's clear voice made me smile.
"Great, are you sure that I also have to go to your brother's game today?" I said it and immediately added audibly. "I mean Ava has never even met him, why would I support him?"
In response, my best friend hissed like a snake.
"You know very well that he is my brother, I should support him - especially after his issues - and you, as my friend, should support me with your company."
My long exhale already sounded like a spawn in this battle.
"Okay, meet me at Madison Square Garden in two hours then."
"And don't forget the New York Rangers Jersey, Mommy."
When the phone was back on the nightstand, I again plunged into my thoughts.
To be clear, Bailey and I met Ava at university.
Despite the fact that I bounced between breastfeeding and diapers, and my sister joined us a year later, we became the closest people to each other.
That's how we found out that Ava is an adopted daughter in the Canning family.
We've heard enough about them.
Kings of architecture in New York.
One of the richest families.
This means that when she was thirteen years old, she had three older brothers - Cole, Christian and Connor.
But Bailey and I always knew only one Connor, who was closer to us in age and studied with us at the university.
Actually, this is how my sister got a fiancé and I became an even worse daughter for my mother.
As for the other two, we never crossed paths with them, but we knew several facts thanks to stories. The fact that one serves in the Army and the other is a professional hockey player and both help the family business.
That's all.
Of course, sometimes I was interested to know a little more about them and I can confidently say that all the Canning brothers are damn hot but...
It feels like they are like wolves - loners.
Even Connor.
But I didn't need to know more and Bailey was quite content with getting to know everyone at a family dinner.
My phone buzzed again, only this time because of a message from Ava.
Ava: Stop thinking in the clouds and get your ass in the shower.
I started laughing hysterically following my friend's orders.
Who needs friends who don't know you even better than themselves?
Certainly not me.