ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ɪɴᴋ || ʜᴀᴢʙɪɴ ʜᴏᴛᴇʟ

SO BAD IT'S HILARIOUS!

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Mel had been very correct about Alastor's commercial, but she felt terrible about it. The annoying tingle of guilt flittering around in her head was surprising; she honestly hadn't felt guilt since she'd first arrived in Hell, and then it had quickly disappeared.

Hell was an eat-or-be-eaten kind of place, so there wasn't any time or place for things like guilt or remorse.

However, the fact that Mel felt even a bit of guilt was shocking, especially since it was over as silly as a commercial.

But just looking at Charlie, who looked like she was struggling to remain positive as she viewed the admittedly terrible commercial that Alastor had made, Mel sure as sugar felt guilty.

"Well, Hello there, you wayward sinner!" Alastor's dynamic voice rang from the television set as the picture showed a red devil-like demon brutally stabbing a toadish-looking demon with black and white horns. "Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a s!xual nature?"

The red devil-like demon paused his stabbing and looked around in thought; even the demon he was stabbing blinked in confusion.

"Of course you do!" Alastor chuckled, not letting either demon answer. "That's why you're in Hell!"

The camera zoomed out to show the red pentagram glowing in the sky and the various fires and crumbling buildings that littered Hell.

"But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that?" Various demons popped up from the surrounding rubble and peered blankly at the Radio Demon. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar!"

The camera cut out to show Charlie, in her new bright red suit, waving and awkwardly smiling at the camera as Angel Dust popped up behind her, giving her multiple bunny ears with his fingers, gold fangs glinting as he smirked directly at the camera.

"Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing YOU!"

Several personal and very sad-looking photos of Charlie and Lucifer passed on the TV screen, with Charlie in tears in every photo and Lucifer seemingly not noticing, as well as photos of Charlie at 666 News with a bored and borderline disgusted Katie Killjoy.

"Here, we offer fun things!" The camera cut to show the inside of the Hotel, showing Razzle and Dazzle, Charlie's personal bodyguards, flying around on tiny bat wings, sweeping and trying to clean up while a very drunk and hungover Husk stood behind the bar before collapsing face-first into it. "Such as somewhat functional staff and 24-hour pest control."

Nifty popped up behind the bar and climbed over Husk as she chased after a cockroach, a sewing needle glinting dangerously in her hand as she repeatedly tried to stab the little bug.

"And, of course, take the opportunity to meet my ever-lovely assistant and partner, the Ink Demon!" the camera slid back to the bar and showed Mel sitting on a stool, a glass of wine in front of her, going ignored as she poked Husk's head, making sure he wasn't dead or dying, only for the cat demon to grumble and cuss at her as he swatted at her hand in annoyance. "Smile, darling!"

Mel looked up at the camera with confused eyes. "But I'm always smilin'?"

"That's the spirit, my dear!" Alastor chirped before the camera cut to a different scene to reveal the parlor of the Hotel.