Dreamers Dream Until They Don't

1

The pencil moved quickly, sketching lines in every direction and shading in whichever parts felt right. She wasn't sure what she was doing. She never really did. But her eyes remained focused on the sketchbook in her lap, her mind getting lost in whatever she was creating.

There was a sigh coming from the person in front of her. "Bosco? Did you hear anything I said?"

Bosco snapped out of it, looking up at her sister who was sitting across from her. "Um..." She whispered, fidgeting with the pencil in her hand. Her eyes returned down to the sketchbook. "N-No. Sorry, 'Rene..."

Irene let out a sigh. "I didn't think so." She mumbled. "I asked how was the job interview?"

Bosco started to tap her pencil against the sketchbook. She didn't want to think about the job interview. "I don't know..." She finally said. "I guess it was fine. I don't think they're going to call me though."

Irene ran a hand through her hair, trying to hide her frustration. "Why's that?"

She failed to hide her frustration. Bosco could hear it in her voice. She laid her head on the table, the noise of the restaurant they were in becoming a blur of sounds that made her dizzy. "I don't think I was very focused." She mumbled. "I tried to be. And I wasn't sure how to thoroughly answer their questions. They were asking stuff about past work experience and my strengths but I haven't had a normal job before and I'm not sure what my strengths are."

Irene shook her head. Now she was sure her sister didn't get the job. "I told you, you tell them about your past volunteer work, about how you've worked with the public before and say you are good at working in groups. Stuff like that."

Bosco gave her a confused look. "But I wasn't good at those things." She said. "So why would I have to tell them I am?"

"How would they know if you're telling the truth or not? You have to exaggerate a bit when it comes to these things." Irene tapped her nails against the glass cup in front of her. Bosco just watched. She knew that was something Irene did when she was losing her patience. "Nobody hires someone who can't work with other people."

"...Then maybe it's a good thing I didn't tell them I'm good at it." Bosco whispered in response, just earning a glare from Irene.

Her sister just stood up from the table after leaving a tip for their waitress, silently motioning for Bosco to follow. "You're exhausting, you know that?"

Bosco bit her lip as she followed her out of the restaurant, clutching her sketchbook to her chest. "I don't mean to be..." She said quietly.

The sisters' relationship wasn't always so strained. They used to be so much closer. That was before their parents passed and left them with just each other.

Irene used to be very protective of Bosco, and she still was, but it was in a different way this time. Now Bosco felt as if her sister noticed and pointed out every flaw she had. From her struggle to pay attention to most things, to her anxiety about her responsibilities. She knew Irene only wanted the best for her, but Bosco just didn't think she understood.

She leaned her head against the window of the car, watching as the rain hit the glass as Irene drove them home. Everything they passed by seemed so gray. The houses, the school, the other stores. Bosco wasn't sure if it was because of the weather or if this place just didn't feel very welcoming to her. Even though she had lived there her whole life.

She glanced over at her sister, who had remained silent since they had gotten into the car. "I wish you were nicer to me..." She whispered quietly, fidgeting with the sleeves of her sweater.

Irene kept her eyes focused on the street in front of her. "I'm not being mean to you. I'm pushing you to do what's best for yourself."

"You don't know what's best for me." Bosco said, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. "Stop pretending like you do."

Irene didn't respond. She pulled into the driveway of their shared home, silently getting out of the car once she parked and walking up to the door. Bosco stayed behind until her sister had gone inside before she took a shaky breath and got out herself.

The rain beat down on her face and thunder in the distance made her flinch. When she was little, she used to run to her sister for protection during the storms that frequented their town. But not anymore. Now, Bosco dealt with it on her own.

She locked the door behind her when she stepped inside the house. The house was always spotless. Irene didn't like a dirty space. And Bosco agreed. It was their shared space, so she'd help clean it up. But her room was a bit of a different story, and she wasn't all that proud of it.

Bosco avoided looking towards Irene and went straight to her bedroom, opening the door to reveal the cluttered and disorganized space. She didn't mean for it to get so out of hand. She would try to clean but then either became overwhelmed or distracted by what she'd find. Sometimes both. She stepped over different books and clothes and other items to make it to her bed, where she immediately laid down and let her sketchbook slip down to the floor.

The rain was loud. Bosco's thoughts wandered as she hugged her stuffed animal and nestled herself into her nest of blankets. This was her routine. Her mind slipped away, bringing her to a place that wasn't her reality. A dreamland where she was happy.

Daydreaming was the only thing keeping Bosco hanging on. It was her one escape. She dreamed of a place where she didn't feel so alone. Where there would always be someone to pick her up when she stumbled. Someone who wouldn't get mad at her for not being able to do something correctly or not being able to understand something that seemed so simple.

In reality, Bosco didn't really have too many friends. The ones she did have she felt like only kept her around because they pitied her. In her dream world, she wasn't pitied. She was just genuinely liked. Dream world Bosco could do anything that real world Bosco was too afraid to do. Like work with people, stick up for herself, be confident in herself. Everything. It was safe there.

The daydreaming came with its disadvantages though. Bosco missed out on a lot because of it. She preferred to be alone a lot because she was able to escape into her mind more easily that way. But that meant she didn't socialize with others like she should. And sometimes she caught herself daydreaming at very inconvenient times when she was supposed to be completely alert and paying attention. She hadn't told Irene, but that had happened during the job interview. That probably added to the reasons why she wouldn't hear back from them.

Irene knew of Bosco's little habit. There was a word she used to describe it, but Bosco couldn't remember what it was. But she could remember that Irene thought it was incredibly unhealthy. And deep down inside, Bosco knew she was probably right. But she couldn't stop herself.

Bosco turned over on her side, facing the window of her bedroom. It was still raining, but in the distance, over the tops of the trees and against the gray sky, she could make out the black spires of the abandoned castle just outside of town. She had never been there before, they had always been warned to stay far away, but she liked to imagine it. That was where a lot of her daydreams took place.

She knew the place was probably haunted or something. The few who had ventured off there never returned. The search parties never made it very far before they were forced to turn back. But Bosco liked to dream about escaping to it. She liked to dream about being a princess who was loved and who didn't have to deal with so many issues about herself. It would be nice. It would be easy.

Bosco felt a tear run down her face. She quickly wiped it away, curling up in her blanket nest and squeezing her eyes shut. She slipped away into her fantasy world of safety.

Outside her bedroom door, Irene was thinking. She went to knock before stopping herself. She didn't mean to be so hard on Bosco. She only wanted the best for her sister. But she didn't know how to get through to her. She couldn't pinpoint where exactly their bond had fallen apart. And she didn't know how to repair it.

She lowered her hand and sighed, leaving Bosco be for now. She felt as if she had already hurt her enough that day. She didn't want to accidentally add to it.

Bosco was oblivious to her presence. Her mind had wandered off by now.

----

Short first chapter, I'm sorry. It gets better