The mind of a teen

Chapter 2

Questions suffocating me. Pressure burning me out. Expectations leading me elsewhere. The right place but the wrong person. Feeling like a stranger with people I've known for years. Do I even belong? The question lingers through my chain of thoughts every once in awhile. The feeling of being misused but not being able to detach. Having friends that stay and the known strangers that leave. My own home not feeling like a home. Comforting everyone but will anyone come and help me? Trying to be cold to the loved ones that hurt me but the brick hearted feeling is rather difficult to maintain. Mind running an analysis but somehow always stopped by self doubt. Confidence beaming on the outside but it's quite lonely and untouched on the inside. Watching the people who once made time stand still, running away from it. Staring into the distance till I see fog. Accusations stabing me like an arrow in the back. Will I ever grow wings? My heart asks. My intellect pondering everyone's personality. Only for me to get ignored. Trying so hard to be positive but always fail to get those dark thoughts off my persona. Leave a bad impression on many when all I wanted was to be their friend. Being name-called by everyone but I still don't know what I am. I always find myself having 2 days of motivation and then quiting on everything but I still can't quit on the people who hurt me. Am I hurting myself with these thoughts? As dark as space. So dark, there's no scope to find light. When I treat them the way they treated me, I'm suddenly the villian of their story. When I was actually the one who was treated like the side character of my own life. I always wondered why I looked blurry in the pictures we took together. It's because I was never meant to be in them in the first place. Why are always the good moments that are forgotten while the pain haunts me? Will I ever be able to get over everyone...?