A Tale of Two Spiders (A Hazbin Hotel Fanfiction)

The First Man

Warning ⚠️ Mentions of Self Harm

(Molly's POV)

I was beyond frustrated. I was actually getting some decent sleep for once, but, of course, that couldn't last. The loud and obnoxious arrival of the First Man sought to ruin any hopes of a restful evening. On top of that, I have a show tomorrow! Adam whistled as I stopped in front of him.

"Damn, you are fine! Don't remember seeing you before, and I would remember a body like that!"

"Is that so?" I asked, unamused.

"Fuck, yeah! I would totally tap that!" He added, his eyes scanning my body.

"Wow, really?!" I exclaimed, faking interest. I rested one of my hands atop his chest, acting as if I was swooning.

"Oh yes," He replied, smirking.

I smiled back before kneeing him in the nuts. He fell to his knees with a grunt. Charlie snorted, trying to suppress a laugh, while the others chuckled to their hearts' content.

"First off, you tried to murder my brother and the rest of my friends here, not that you succeeded. Second, you are a disgusting fool if you think that his how you woo a woman. And third, you are obnoxiously loud, having disturbed my rest and that everyone else here, you selfish entitled prick," I concluded, flicking his nose.

During this whole confrontation, I was looming over him, reprimanding him as if he were a child. He glared and scowled at me before smirking and meeting my eyes.

"That's pretty fucking hot, Maria," He said, rising to his feet. He towered over me and everyone else for that matter. He had to be at least 9½ if not 10 feet tall.

"Excuse me?" I scoffed, crossing my arms.

"I don't know who you are, babe, but you look like a Maria to me," He explained, leaning in close to my face.

"She's my twin sista', dickwad!" Tony snapped, shoving him away from me.

"Oh, I see. Is she a porn star, too?"

"Why ya'-" Tony rolled up his sleeves, about to get into a brawl with Adam.

"OK, OK, OK!!" Charlie shouted, shoving herself between a smug Adam and enraged Tony. "Let's all take a breath! We don't encourage violence."

"That's fucking right! You can't touch me bitches!" Adam laughed.

"That includes your snide ass, Adam!" Vaggie snapped, motioning her spear toward his throat. "You need to try not to get on everyone's nerves."

"That'll be difficult for him considering he's done nothing but that his whole existence," Lucifer muttered loud enough for us all to hear.

"Dad!" Charlie exclaimed in shock.

"It's amazing how for one night our king can actually spout information that is agreeable," Alastor added, taking a jab at the short king of Hell that could kill him in an instant if he wanted.

"Alastor!" Charlie shouted, exasperated.

"Charlie," I spoke up, bringing everyone's attention. "I apologize for breaking one of your rules-"

"Hell naw! Don't apologize for givin' the fuckhead what he deserves!" Cherri yelled, pissed off.

"Don't misunderstand. I don't regret givin' him a very much needed wake-up call. However, I don't want to jeopardize my redemption process by going against the hotel's rules."

"Ha-Ha, that's my sista'! I shoulda known you wouldn't need help defendin' yourself," Tony said, ruffling my hair.

"Yeah, and don't you forget it!" I shot back laughing.