Satoru x Reader {Set Me Free} JJk FanFic

34 - Satoru

"I suppose I should be disappointed, but if I'm honest, you've only lived up to my expectations.""You're welcome," I snarled against the pain. I'd woken up here in the hospital, and it had taken time for all the bits of memory and the new info to form a picture.The beating, the party, the drugs, Y/N and then an operation."You do realise that I wouldn't be here if you hadn't broken a rib?"He fell silent and I looked at the window. All the memories were ... Fuck!I didn't know how I was going to make it up to him. If I could at all."They found three different drugs in your blood," my father said, leaning over to me. He grabbed my chin and turned my face towards him. "And you think my punch is to blame for this?" He laughed bitterly. "No, boy.""I think all your shitty decisions are to blame for this. Because as far as I know, coke doesn't break your ribs and puncture your lungs.""Don't push it, lad."I laughed and immediately regretted it. "Too late, old man.""Where's your wife? Shouldn't she be by your side?""I'm here!" someone said authoritatively and stepped inside. The door closed and all I could see from then on was Y/N. Y/N in the clothes of a man. My father looked down at her and grimaced. "It's about time. It would have been proper for you to sit by his bedside the whole time.""You're right, father-in-law. Please forgive me. I'll take over from now on. You must have a lot of work to do." Y/N walked around the bed, showing no emotion.My father nodded, looked at me again and then disappeared.And I stared at her, stared and stared and ... stared.My lips opened, I wanted to say something, but ... What?"I ... I-I ..." Taking a deep breath, I tried to straighten up.She turned her head towards me and asked, "How are you?"I flinched. The way she looked at me was worse than a shot to the head. Nothing could have prepared me for this revulsion. Nothing.I lifted my hand and put it on hers. "Y/N, I ... Please." She pulled away from my hand. "I'm glad you're okay so far. Do you need anything? Do you want me to go shopping for something?" she asked, ignoring my attempts at ... whatever.I tried to sit up but slumped away. I gritted my teeth and breathed against the pain. But it wasn't my body that was hurting, it was my damn heart!"Please," I gasped, clawing at the sheets. "I ... Please."What was I actually asking for? Forgiveness? That she told me it was half as bad? No, because it was. It was bloody awful and I knew it."Please.""Say it! Say it!""Y/N, me," I swallowed. "I'm sorry. What I've done is ... I'm scared, okay? I think I'm ... I think I'm falling in love with you. I think ... Fuck! I'm sorry. So infinitely sorry, I ... Please, you have to believe me." "You're scared because you think you're falling in love with me? And that's why you had to rape me yesterday?""I didn't ... I ..." I took a deep breath and groaned, feeling dizzy. "Yesterday I realised that you ... you deserve so much more than me and I think I wanted to show you that. I wanted to rub your nose in what a messed-up person I am. And the day was made for it. The thing with my father, that you didn't tell me that you were away with-" I groaned in pain, "Yuji, then the possibility of taking drugs and then the announcement that Riko and Toji were going to be parents. It was... I was so high. I ... That's no excuse for what I did, but ... I asked my father if we could undo our marriage."I looked anywhere but at Y/N's face. I couldn't."You're serious?" she asked, "You really are a fucking and reprehensible asshole! What do you think you're doing? That you can use me and then throw me away? You treated me so shitty yesterday! And yet I come here, want to take care of you and this is the thanks?! You throw me away! Have you ever thought in your little brain that I'm only doing all this," she screamed, pointing at me, "because I want you! And shall I tell you something else! You were right! My best friend confessed that he loved me, he offered me the chance to run away with him and treat me better than you ever will! But I refused and you know why, because my heart, yes my stupid heart, wants you and not another man! So don't you dare say that again. Be a man, own up to the shit you've done and finally fight for me!"I looked at her. And again I could only stare. She was so indescribable. She was exactly what I wanted.I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me so that she had to sit on the edge of the bed. I intertwined my fingers with hers. Slowly, so that she could pull away if she wanted to. I looked her in the eye."Firstly, I hate to say it, but I was right about Yuji. Secondly, my father refused. But, when I saw him beating my mum and intervened, I was so damn scared that you'd be stuck in a marriage like that too. With me." I swallowed once and cleared my throat. "I think that's why I escalated like that. But," I loosened my fingers as the realisation hit me like a brick. "I'm no better than him. Not after I made you ... you didn't want to and I ..." I felt something wet on my cheek and wiped my face in confusion. I whispered, "I raped you, Y/N. Why are you back here?"She looked at me and breathed quickly. "Yes, you raped me. You scared me and I realised how weak I am compared to you. I couldn't defend myself. That was scary," she finally started to speak and looked down at the floor "But I think, no, I know that you will never be like your father. I'm still convinced of that. And I've just told you why I'm here. But in the end, I think I'm just an idiot. Do you want me to leave? Would you like me to accept Yuji's offer and leave? If so, then tell me here and now. And be honest! If you really seriously want me to leave because you never think things will work out between us and you don't see any chance of that changing, then tell me to my face now that you want me to leave and you never want to see me again.""No, I definitely don't want you to leave, little girl. But I should want you to if I wasn't so selfish." I closed my eyes and then I laughed. I laughed as loud as I could, coughing as my wound threatened to split open. "Do you realise we've just told each other how we feel in the shittiest way possible? This is so ... WE!" Again I shook with laughter and pain. "God, you and me are so fucked up. And..." I wiped away the tears of laughter. Then I calmed down and looked at her. "That's exactly what I want. I want you." She smiled slightly. "Yes, that's true! But my heart won't stop beating like crazy. I want you too," she replied and took my hand. She placed it against her cheek and closed her eyes shortly. "But, I also need time to process what's happened."Y/N lowered her hand again and looked towards me.I looked at her and fought the tears again."You know you're making a mistake forgiving me, don't you?" I stroked her skin gently with my thumb. "I'm no good for you. And because I wouldn't be me if I didn't prove that to you right now, I have to ask you that now." I hesitated, swallowed and looked down at her. "These are Yuji's clothes. Did you and he ... I mean, would understand if you ... But I need to know.""I know," she agreed and then looked down at herself. "Yeah, after what happened yesterday, I slept at his place," she replied, flicking my forehead. "You're really only thinking about one thing! Who do you think I am? To put it bluntly, what woman would fuck her best friend after what you did! I had other things on my mind than that! My goodness, I took this stuff from him because I didn't want to turn up here in my party outfit. I bet your dad's eyes would have popped out in shock. And I remember, you didn't even tell me if I looked good yesterday," she then sulked.I didn't respond to her joke or what she said. I grabbed her fingers and squeezed tighter. My strength left me and the moment I opened my mouth and asked: "Can you forgive me for this at some point?", someone literally kicked the door down."Do you know how scared you made us?" Toji walked to Y/N and kissed her on the forehead as if she had been a part of us for a long time. My friend pressed on my wound and I groaned, "Fuck you!""Yes, yes," he grumbled. "Let me see the scar."I shook my head and looked at Riko, who had taken Y/N in her arms. And for a moment, before my eyes closed from exhaustion, everything was fine.***I rolled my eyes, opened the door and took the bag from Y/N. I placed it in the vestibule and leaned on the crutch."We have employees who do that.""I'm aware," she said, closing the door behind me.The estate staff immediately came to greet us, but I sent them away with a certain gesture. I was going on holiday, so Y/N looked at me.I had to stay in hospital for three weeks and undergo another operation. I was really glad to be home again."You don't want me to get used to how tame you are, do you? So don't get me wrong, it's nice that you're willing to fulfil my every wish, but I do miss your cheeky mouth a little.""Well you're currently injured, so don't get used to it," she smirked, letting out just a little bit of her fire.I laughed out loud, walked to a few steps and then slumped. I stumbled and groaned as I dropped to my knees."Oh my god! Are you okay?" Y/N asked in shock and knelt down to me.I lifted my head, looked at her and ... grinned.So quickly that she could only scream, I grabbed her by the waist and threw her onto the thick carpet. I pounced on her and pressed her to the floor with all my weight, nibbling on her lower lip. We didn't have the time or the peace and quiet for that in hospital. But now ...I left a trail of kisses on her neck and hummed with satisfaction when I finally tasted her again. I playfully bit the crook of her neck and then sucked on her. I wanted to leave a mark. Urgently."Please..." she suddenly whispered and I heard ... Fear. I let go of her and stared at her. "Are you going to... force me again?" she asked and I froze into a pillar of ice."What?!" I blinked. "I-ch..." I didn't know what to say and gave her space, moving away from her a little. "Y/N? Are you scared of me?"She wrapped her arms around her body and looked to the side in shame. "I... I thought I could handle it. But it was so fast... just like that night, it was so fast too.""I understand. I'm ... I'm sorry. I thought..." I sand up and rubbed my face. Fuck! I shortly felt despair rise up. I turned round and picked up the crutch. Turning my back to her, I whispered: "How am I supposed to make it up to you if I can't do the only thing we can do?"She sat up. "How about-" Y/N began, "if you try something else instead of telling yourself that this is the only way we function. Do you really not know how to please a woman in a different way?"I laughed listlessly. "If we did, do you really think we'd be in this position?" I walked to the top of the stairs and Y/N followed. When we reached our room, I hesitated, my hand on the door handle. Suddenly I felt so stupid. "We shouldn't go in the room. Let's just eat something, shall we?"Y/N took a deep breath and grabbed my collar, pulling me down. "I think you're sexy. Just.... Show .... Just show me that I can trust you! That you've changed! Instead of feeling sorry for yourself now. I'm doing well! Only.... How should I explain this to you? Just please don't be too quick if you're planning something like this. Take your time and respond to me, you owe it to me."I closed my eyes as she entered the room, which was full of pink orchids upstairs. It was a stupid idea and I rubbed through my hair."The woman in the flower shop said orchids represent reconciliation and I thought," I continued, suddenly having the urge to explain myself for this bollocks. "I thought that if we'd finished downstairs, we could have continued the rendezvous here. I thought it was a nice gesture if you knew what they meant and..." I huffed, stuttering around. I leaned against the doorframe. "God, if anyone saw that. I'm sorry, I didn't think for a second that you didn't want me yet. I fucked up again, didn't I?"I was just being a twat. A stupid twat.But ... Y/N turned in a circle, went to every flower in the room and said, "It's perfect." Then she turned to me, came running over, stood on tiptoe and kissed me.I returned the kiss questioningly and pulled Y/N closer to me. I put my hand on the back of her neck and opened my mouth. It was an invitation, not a demand. Even though my dick was already getting hard again, I held back. She let her tongue slide into my mouth and intensified the kiss. Then Y/N took my hand and slowly and carefully pulled me to the bed. She sat on top of me, pressing me into the mattress and I couldn't lie, this dominance turned me on."If I had known that flowers had such an effect ..." I placed my lips on hers again. I carefully increased the tempo and increased the intensity of the kiss again. But then I stopped."We should eat something now." I rested my forehead against hers. Completely out of breath. "I'm falling off the wagon from all this hospital food." I looked into her eyes. "Let's take it slow." I almost choked on the words and they felt wrong but .... "Besides, you should talk to Yuji."Cold shower, please? Here you go. But as much as I hated to say it, it was important for Y/N. So... Had to be okay with me, too."I just like cheesy stuff like that. That's why I just wanted to show you that you took a good step in the right direction," she explained, resting her head on my chest shortly before pushing herself up. "Let's go out for dinner then," she agreed. "Thank you for meeting me." She stood up and shook her head. "I don't want to see him right now and I'm surprised you want to. You know what he said.""I know, and I'm really the last person who wants that bastard anywhere near you, but he's important to you." I propped myself up on my elbows and heaved my side because a sharp pain hit as I tightened my stomach muscles. I breathed louder. "Ripping his balls off and shoving them down his throat would just be another thing I'd piss you off with. So I'll try it the I-want-my-wife-not-to-hate-me-yet way.""And how do you envisage that? I can't pretend nothing ever happened, even if I care about him," she says and giggles. "I like it when you're cute like that." "I'm not a bit sweet, little one. I'm pure sex. And let's be honest," I looked at her. "It's no real wonder he told you he loves you. After all, I do au-" I promptly pursed my lips before I could finish the sentence.What the hell was I about to say?I blinked several times. Slowly.Y/N's smile disappeared. "What did you just say?"I got out of bed with a groan and pointed to the door. "Let's eat. What do you think about pizza? We could watch a film while we do it. Downstairs in the cinema."I left the room, leaving my wife behind.My God, I was such a dickhead. She didn't want to fuck me after the way I'd treated her. She certainly didn't want to hear that I loved her. In such a twisted, messed up way that I didn't even understand it yet.