When I was just a Villain

164 6 9
                                    

"You and I stargazing
intertwining souls
We were never strangers
You were right there all along"

Stargazing - Myles Smith

────────

"Moonie wake up! It's time to go to school!"
"Yes mom! Just a moment!"

I yawn and check my phone before getting up.
Life as a kpop stan is so fun and exciting, you wake up, check your favorite group's updates on Twitter, collect photocards, listen to new comebacks...

... and if you're lucky enough you can even see them in person at a concert or at a fanmeeting.

But that's not my case, I live in the middle of nowhere and I can just dream...

I open Bubble, after seeing my favorite notification: You have a new message from "Seungmin💜"

I open the message and reply with some purple hearts as always. I like to read his messages, but I don't pay much attention to my replies. After all, he's not going to reply to me personally.

I get on the train to school and listen to my beloved Heroes while I check the news on their Twitter.

"It's crush again! I didn't know that I can feel the love again!"
I quietly sing my favorite song, trying to not disturb too much.
"The way I love this song is unmatched, it's truly the best!"

The hours passes as I write Seungmin's name in every corner of my textbooks.

"Omg Moon you're so obsessed!" My friend Maya looks at my book and laughs.
"Shh! Coming from Gaon's biggest yapper."
"Tsk, thats nooot true at all." she pouts.
"I want to see my Sumiii!" I lament.
"And I want to see my Jiseok but we're not destined to yet."
"I wish we were born in Korea so that we could go to their concerts whenever we want."
"They will come here too soon or later, don't worry."

But what if they don't?

I'm always sad that my Heroes live so far away from me, but today the distance hits harder than ever.
I scroll on social medias and see the great amount of fansites who are able to go to every concert and event, the ones who win lots of fancalls and can talk to them every comeback. I feel like the idols can recognize them in the crowd at this point.

And then here I am, looking at their photos from afar.

I take my laptop and open a new page.
I really want to tell them how much they mean to me in person, but that's not possible.
That's why I love to write stories, so that at least I can meet them on paper.

"Mhh... I don't know how to start this story. Am I able to write their personalities well? I don't even know what will the story be about..."

I think for a while, I just want to meet them...
Their friendship is so beautiful that they're basically a family now. How awesome would it be to be their friend, to be one of them.

Being friends with the Heroes...

Crying on big-brother-Gunil's shoulder,
Playing videogames with Jooyeon,
Drawing with Hyeonjun,
Hugging Jungsu,
Laughing for hours with Jiseok,
Having a sweet moment with Seungmin...

That's how my dream life looks.
But I can't have that.
I'm just a Villain like everyone else.
But in my story, I can be whoever I want.

────────

I take out my keyboard and start writing whatever comes to my mind.

𝘼𝙂𝘼𝙄𝙉? 𝘼𝙂𝘼𝙄𝙉!  || 𝘖.𝘥𝘦 Where stories live. Discover now