Run Away Engie, Run And Hide (a tf2 angst. Schizophrenic Engie)

Entry #8 Verdammt Dell

More fanart/ just epic tf2 art by my son YEEHAWTRANS this is literally my walpaper rn. I wanna hang it on my fridge.

An: cliffhanger? More like dell conagher.

Written by Toby

----------nobodys POV---------

The whole base was in a state of panic. They weren't quite sure what happened, but with medic not allowing anyone in the medbay the mercenaries were worried and confused. All they knew was that there was a trail of blood down the hall from medic hauling Dell Conagher's body. The only man who saw anything was the poor scout Jeremy. He sat in the waiting area silently with a infirmary supplied blanket draped over his shoulders. At first they had tried questioning him, but it was no use. It had been a couple hours after the incident now, with the 'surgery in progress' light still illuminating the now dark waiting area. Many of the mercenaries went back about their business, or to their rooms. Now it was only scout who sat there, staring at the nothing. It was 6 AM when finally the door opened, an exhausted medic stumbling out covered in drying and fresh blood. His eyes were slightly bloodshot rimmed with eyebags either from being awake so long, crying, or both. The man looked around groggily, shocked that scout was still there.

"Hallo Jeremy" the doctor whispered. "He's stable for now. You did good kid." He placed his hand on the youngers shoulder, trying to break him out of his trancelike state. "You need to go rest, okay? Jeremy?" Ludwig spoke in a normal tone now, not sure if he was heard. Jeremy looked up at him slowly bofore giving a solom nod. The doctor sighed knowing he would have to escort him to another member of the team to be monitored. "Here" he spoke softly reaching out his hand. Scout took it, slowly, but unobjectively. They walked down the hall silently. Their stress alleviated but not all of it. There was still so many unanswered questions.

----- time skiiiip [2 days later]----------------

-----------engie POV ----------------------

My mouth was dry, parched even. I groaned feeling fuzzy and numb. Squirming around uncomfortably i felt something, or rather the lack of something. My stumped off arm brushed against my leg forcing me to jolt awake in confusion.

"AAEPP" i yelped, sitting up. I looked around frantically the first thing i noticed was my right arm. It was bandaged and clean looking, indicating that what happened really was real. No pain came from it, in fact i could barely feel anything.

"AOUUUP STAY RIGHT THERE COMRADE I'M WATCHING YOU" soldier yelled far too loud for me.
"I'm watching you" he whispered the second time. He hopped up from the doctor's chair in his office and scrambled over to the small red intercom button on the wall. Oh, im in the doctor's office, i fully realized.
"Medic to clinic, medic to clinic" the hyper man talked into the speaker. I slid my legs off the side of the bed, bracing myself to stand up. "Don't do that" soldier stated, he scrambled over to me as if i would die from moving too much. "So!" He smiled, sitting down beside me, he shook the bed startling me "Why'd you cut your own hand off?" He spoke far too freely, with the curiosity of a child. I sat dumbfounded for a second before answering.

"You wouldn't believe me if i told you" i answered truthfully. Something about the raw pain in my voice made him get quiet. He probably pitys me, i thought. We sat in silence until dr. Ludwig arrived.

"Delll!" He chimed. "You're avake! Vonderbal, i have a few qvestions und tests for jou," he said, pulling out a clipboard and pen. "Jane you may go now, danke for ze help" medic gestured for soldier to leave.

"I don't usually do favors for commies" he grumbled on his way out. Knowing him that strange jest was probably supposed to be a compliment.

"Zo, eh" medic let out a deep sigh as he pulled up a chair next to my bed. "How are jou feeling?" He asked.

"I'm, uh-" my eyes flicked over focusing on a strange tall shadow behind him. "Im okay" i answered, nodding my head.

"Right" medic, grimaced his best smile at me, maybe an attempt at comfort but it reminded me of the other engineer, the one i killed. I killed him, i killed him, i killed him, ikilledhimikilled killedhim

I killed him

I killed him

"I killed him"

I blurted, under my breath on accident.

"Vhat? Who?" Medic asked, raising his brow.

"Hm, i didn't say anything sorry" i lied obviously. I blushed with embarrassment.

"Right... Anyvay, so since jou've been azleep for two days jou're no longer on Lorazepam. It vould be against my better judgment to put you back on it. It has shown ehh to agitate you in.. some way.... but there are other medications we can try. I would hate for you to have another catatonic episode dell." The german sighed sympathetically, tapping his pen on his clipboard. "But Frankly zhat is zhe last of miene conzerns right now. Dell i am going to be quite blunt vis jou. I need jou to tell me vhat ze hell happened back zhere." Medic looked up from his clipboard at me with a look of pity. Coming from one of the most sadistic, self centered mercenaries on the team, that meant shit was serious.

"Doc.... im sorry" i groaned, covering my face with my hand.
"I didn't mean to scare nobody. It's just this guy had been following me and he was-" i paused, assessing the look on his face. Medic listened indifferently, stimming vigorously with his pen. "He was like a clone of me? Anyway, doesn't matter, point is he was sketchy as hell and i-i dont know he might have been a ghost or something. And he kept threatening me not to sleep, and that he was gonna hurt me- and i think he could read my mind- and i, i killed him but- not before he put a robotic insect in my wrist because i accidentally slept- aafter two days... it really hurt he said it was gonna kill me so i tried to get it out- and i couldn't get it out so i um i-i had to do it." I rambled spasticity, stuttering and tripping over my words. "I killed him though" i stated dully.

"You had to chop jour hand off?" Medic asked, saying what i was too shy too.

"Yeah?" i answered, scratching the back of my neck

"....."

"Dell have jou ever heard somezhing zhat nobody else zeemed to, or maybe-" Ludwig paused clicking his tongue. "Seen things zhat seemed odd?"

"Well sure everyone does sometimes. Don't you dare try to tell me i made this up Fritz. I'm not crazy i don't need help, i help other people!! Thats my goddamn job!" i yelled, upset that my own teammate would think im some madman.

"How often is sometimes?" He asked, not expecting an answer.
"Dell i zhink jou do need help, it's not jour fault. It'z okay to need help," medic spoke, trying to reason with me.

"I need to go for a walk" i growled.

"Verdammt Dell, jou just sawed jour own hand off. I'm afraid i can't just let you 'go for a walk' by yourself" medic whined, sick of playing the nice nurse for me.

-------Time skip----------

I sat on the train tracks with heavy, throwing gravel at the ground bitterly. Dozens of ants crawled in and out of the gravel, forcing me to sit cross legged on the metal rail. They looked almost staticy in the sun.

"I can't believe he would think I'm crazy" i blurted, starting a conversation.

"Eet is sad. Engineer will be okay" heavy said, not agreeing or disagreeing with me. He offered me a hug which i grateful accepted. I winced slightly when i wrapped my arms around him.

"You should kill him too" a voice sounded, close to my ear. My hair stood on end with discomfort.
"Murderer" it mocked. "Murderer! Murderer! Murderer!" It chanted, making me whine. I hugged heavy tighter, tears starting to form in my eyes. Why would i ever think those words, i asked myself, feeling guilty.

"You will be okay" heavy chimed, not quite sure how to comfort me."Doktor just wants you to be okay too" he added.

"Yeah" I said, muffled. Maybe i had been too harsh on him.