A Hopeless Romantic

5

The gurgling of water in sinks, the flush of toilets and the chatter of girls focus on that, anything but the heavy lump in your jumper, she told herself

Melanie looked up at her reflection in the sink mirror.

Bags had formed under her eyes and the hair Hannah had described as neat was a messy halo around her head.

It was Thursday, she had a few minutes before last period. And then she'd do it

She could hear the whispering behind her and could see the glances in her direction through the mirror

She braced her arms against the sink and leaned on them for support, closing her eyes

She'd do it. She'd hand the phone to Casper and tell him Mateo wanted him to listen to the recording.

She'd checked the phone earlier. There was no password and only one recording.

Then that'd be it, whatever the outcome she could only hope it'd help someone somehow.

"Damn, you like you've been through hell."

Melanie opened her eyes only to see Mirabella standing behind her, inspecting her appearance in the mirror.

"Thanks,"

"Anytime."

Melanie sighed, rubbing her eyes.

"Here," Mirabella offered her a bright pink scrunchie

When Melanie frowned, she rolled her eyes.

"If you're going to mope around you may as well look good while doing it," she looked her up and down.  "Or in your case at least presentable"

Melanie took the scrunchie, pulling her hair out of her face.

"See," said Mirabella fixing her hair as she watched her. "Much better"

"Thank you," Melanie said as the bell for class rang.

"Yeah, yeah. Now get out there and kick ass."

She walked out of the bathroom feeling lighter, until she felt the heavy lump bumping against her as she walked

You'll just hand it to him, she thought, what was that saying about actions? Oh, no regrets or something.

Mr Martin still hadn't arrived and she took her place in her usual seat

Casper was already there, staring out the window.

He turned when she sat down and acknowledged her with a nod of his head

She would've liked to say more but neither of them were in a chatty mood.

She thought of him and Hannah, the conflict painted on their faces two days before their eyes had softened and their looks had become warm.

A surge of cold warmth hit her as a sense of deja vu came with the image.

She thought of Ian, how she'd lost not only Friday but him. She thought of both of them, the way they gazed at each other in the weeks leading up to Ian's departure. She thought of how they could communicate through their looks, banter, voices and laughter echoing in her head. She thought of the way that despite everything they went through, they always seemed to find their way back to each other.

"We always will," a voice assured her. It was so familiar that voice, it made her feel calm. It was either Ian's or Friday's, or perhaps both.

"Are you doing the right thing?" the voice was just Friday's this time and Melanie was so relieved and overwhelmed to hear her she wanted to cry.

"I don't know Friday," she murmured. Casper glanced at her but she didn't care. "I don't know."

She could almost see Friday's smile. 

"You've always known Melanie."

She pulled out Mateo's phone, opened it and went to the recordings.

Her finger hovered over the delete button.

Another voice spoke to her, comforting but stern. It wasn't Ian or Friday's.

"Do it."

It was hers.

She pressed the little icon, watching 'New Recording' disappear.

Her body slumped, releasing the tension she didn't know her body was holding.

She nudged Casper as Mr Martin walked in.

"Here," she held Mateo's phone out to him under their desk. "Mateo told me to give it to you."

He frowned but took the phone.

"Thanks, I guess. And are you alright Melanie?"

She smiled. It felt good. "I've never been better."

...

Elaine and Hannah were waiting outside their classroom.

"Hey, Mel!" the latter greeted her.

"You good?" Elaine asked, taking a good look at her.

She nodded. "What are you guys doing here?"

"To see you," replied Elaine. "But also cause Han meets up with her boyfriend after this session."

Hannah went pink and Melanie had to admit it was adorable to see her that way.

"Hey, Hannah?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad for you and your boyfriend."

And she was glad.

"Thanks, Mel." she turned her head towards the classroom door. "Oh and there he is now."

Casper walked out, his eyes widened slightly when he saw Melanie with Hannah.

He smiled meekly at Melanie and Elaine before Hannah took his hand, waved goodbye to the both of them and walked along with Casper.

Melanie watched them, and she saw Friday and Ian in their positions, something she had no right to disturb.

Elaine looped an arm around her shoulder.

"I already knew."

She raised her eyebrows but said nothing as they both watched on.

All the heavy sick feelings hit her all at once and she felt tired in every part of her bones.

She'd done the right thing, she knew that, but she should have never gotten into this mess in the first place.

She should have never gotten her feelings for Casper get mixed up in this she-

"Melanie?"

She shrugged Elaine off gently, murmuring something about feeling tired and walked up to the dorms. 

She held herself together until she shut the door behind her in her room and leant back on it, breathing out.

Why did she have to be so stupid, so immature?

She gazed at Friday's bed before curling up on the mattress, hugging the blanket and inhaling the comforting yet painful scent of her. It was too much.

The first tear rolled down her cheek and onto her nose, before more followed.

If Friday were here, all this never would've happened, she would have known better.

She sniffled, looking over at the bedside stand where her phone lay.

A hopeless romantic her mother had said.